突然ですが、この場をお借りして公表させて頂きたい事があります。
私達夫婦は、ちょうど一年程前から妊活を始めました。
妊活を始めるにあたって、お互いの体に問題がないか夫婦そろって検査を病院で受けました。
私の方には問題は見つかりませんでしたが、彼の方に男性不妊が見つかりました。
彼の問題は特殊で治療法が現在まだ解明されていない為、女性側の体に、副作用の強い薬物を使い、人工的に妊娠をアシストする治療を始める事しか方法がありませんでした。
We, husband and wife, started trying to get pregnant exactly a year before.
To start getting pregnant we both husband and wife got examined at the hospital to see whether there was no problem with either one of our bodies.
They found nothing wrong on my part, but they found male infertility for his.
Because his case is special and there is no cure so far, the only method to treat this was to use a drug with strong side effects on the feminine part of his body to artificially assist conception.
When we started trying to conceive, we took the checkups together at the hospital whether our health would have no problem.
I did not have any problem, but my husband was impotent.
His issue is very special and the treatment has not been solved yet. So, we had only way to start the treatment that use the medicine with strong side effects to female's body and assist to get pregnant artificially.
子宮年齢が若かった私の体は、その治療に対して特に副作用を起こしやすく、中には泣き叫ぶような苦痛をともなう物もあり、女性ホルモンのバランスも過剰に崩れる為、私の体調はどんどん悪くなっていき精神的にも不安定になっていきました。
そんなストレスから持病も再発してしまい、入院生活を送り透析治療を受けなくてはならない状況にまで陥りました。
しまいには声を出す事すらできなくなり友人や親族や知人との連絡も一切断ち、1人では外に出る事すらできなくなり、自殺の一歩手前まで追い詰められていきました。
Because of that sort of stress, chronic diseases returned, and I fell into a situation where I had to receive dialysis treatment, spending my life in hospital.
Finally I couldn't even produce my voice, and contact with friends, relatives and acquaintances was completely cut off, I couldn't even go outside on my own, and I was cornered to one step this side of suicide.
From this sort of stress I relapsed into a chronic disease so I was admitted to the hospital and I fell into a condition that I had to receive dialysis.
It became hard to call my sisters, and I absolutely refused to communicate with my friends, relatives and other people I know. It became hard to go outside alone. I was cornered one step away from suicide.
そんな私を支え続けた彼も、自分を責めとても苦しい毎日を過ごした事でしょう。
私がどんなに情緒不安定になり彼にそれをぶつけようが一度として彼が取り乱した事はありませんでした。
いつも忍耐に忍耐を重ね、優しさと愛情を持って、私の体と心をケアする事を最優先してくれました。
私が望む事はどんな犠牲を払っても与えてくれましたし、私が少しでも笑顔になれる為なら自分の身を削ってなんでもしてくれました。
He prioritized taking care of my body and spirit, always piling on endurance on top of endurance, having tenderness and affection,
What I hoped for was that he would afford me brushing away any kind of scapegoating, and if I was even able to smile a little, he would curtail me by all means.
I who became so emotionally unstable, lashed out at him with this but he never once lost his composure.
Always patient, with love and tenderness, what mattered most was caring for my body and heart.
He paid whatever sacrifice to give me what I wanted. If I could smile just a little he would go through any hardship.
I was mentally unstable and tried to throw this feeling to him, but
he has never been upset.
By trying to be patient repeatedly all the time with kindness and affection,
he put priority on taking care of my body and mind.
He did what I requested no matter what kind of sacrifice he had suffered.
He also did everything by sacrificing himself to make me smile even a little.
彼の仕事が休みの時に二人で遠出をし、都会の喧騒から離れ、自然の中で過ごす事だけが私達の唯一の息抜きとなっていました。
私達は何度も話し合い、一度妊活をお休みし、また来年から始めることに決めました。
この数ヶ月の休み期間中に、私達は冷静に物事を考えられるようになり、本来の自分達の考え方を取り戻せるようになりました。
ここまでなっても私達が妊活自体をやめようとしなかったのは、日本の深刻な少子化問題と関わりがあるのかもしれません。
We discussed things many times, temporarily ceased trying to have a baby, and decided to start again from the following year.
During that period of several months off, we reflected on things calmly, and returned to our original way of thinking.
Even up to this point, we didn't try to stop ourselves from having a baby, and maybe this was related to the serious problem of declining birthrates in Japan.
We talked about it many times and decided to take a break from conceiving and start again the following ear.
During the many months of that rest period, we became level-headed enough to think about things, and was able to return to how we were thinking before.
Even at this point we have not decided to stop trying and that maybe has to do with Japan's severe problem of the declining birthrate.
We talked several times and stopped trying to be pregnant. We decided to try it again from next year.
During these several months when we were on vacation, we became to think about things calmly and can think in our own way again.
The reason why we did not stop trying to be pregnant under this kind of situation might have something to do with a serious problem where number of children is decreasing,
結婚したら子供を産むべき、産むのが当たり前結婚しても子供がいない夫婦への周りの悪意のない圧力などが私達の考えを狂わせていたように感じます。
そして不妊症と言えば女性側に問題があるというような根拠のない偏見により、私の心を特に意固地にさせていた面があると思います。来年から予定通りステップアップした治療をスタートすれば私の子宮年齢や卵の数から考えても、妊娠する事は容易だったはずですし医者からもそう診断されています。ただ、あえて私達はもう子供を作らない人生を選択する事を決断しました。
And then, speaking of infertility, due to the groundless prejudices that it's a problem from the woman's point of view, I think there would be an especially obstinate guard around my heart. From next year when we start the step up medical treatment as we planned, even considering the age of my womb and the number of eggs, conception should have been easy and the doctor gave that sort of diagnosis. However, we decided to choose a life that didn't particularly created more children.
So, when you talk about infertility, due to the groundless prejudice that it is the fault of the woman, I think my heart has a side that became particularly stone-faced. If we start the advanced treatment as scheduled next year, even if you think of my womb's age and number of eggs, getting pregnant should have been easy, and that was what the doctors diagnosed. But instead we have decided to be those who would not make children.
Also, an infertility is often wrongly believed to be a problem of a woman, and that made me particularly stubborn. If we would start a step-up treatment in the next year as scheduled, it would be easy to get pregnant regarding my uterus age and the number of oocytes, and our doctor also diagnosed that. But we have rather decided to choose a life without children.
『私達は子供が欲しいから結婚した訳ではない。 私達は皆が羨む普通の人生を望んでいた訳ではない。 ただ2人で一緒にいる事がとても楽しくて、心安らいで、とても幸せで、お互いを心の底から愛しているから、一緒にいたかっただけの事。 そこにもともと子供という存在は必要なかった。』
もちろん2人の遺伝子を持つ子供を授かる事が出来ていたなら、それはとても幸せな事だったのだと思います。
2人の赤ちゃんをこの腕で抱く事をどれだけ楽しみに待ち望んでいたか、それは嘘ではありません。
Certainly, if we could be awarded a child that had our genes, we think that would be a very fortunate thing.
We eagerly look forward greatly to holding our baby in our arms, that isn't a lie.
Of course, if we were able to blessed with a child which carried both of our genes, I think we would have been very happy.
I was looking forward very much to be able to hold our child with these arms. That is no lie.
Of course it would have been very happy if we could have children who have our DNA.
It is not a lie that we have been longing for hugging our baby in the arm.
ただ、2人で沢山悩み考えた末、そして冷静になって、本来の私達らしい生き方、2人にとっての本当の幸せの在り方を追求していった結果、私達は今後、あえて、子供は作らず、2人で人生を添い遂げようという決断を選択しました。
今後は、子供がいないからこそできる、個性が強くぶっ飛んだ2人だからこそできる、自分達も楽しくて、見ている人達も楽しくなってしまうようなファンキーな人生を築いていこうと思います。
かっこはつけず、ありのままに、私達らしく、自由に、笑顔で、楽しく生きていこうと思います。
From now on, because we cannot have children, and because the two of us can jump strongly as individuals, we think we'll be happy and build up a funky life which people watching can enjoy as well.
Without adding parentheses, the truth is, we feel we will happily live appropriately for ourselves, freely, with smiling faces.
From hereon, exactly because we have no children, exactly because we are strongly individual persons, I think we will enjoy ourselves, and build a funky life that those watching will enjoy too.
Without pretense, just how we are, just the way we are, freely, with smiles, living an enjoyable life, I think.
そして、子供を持たない2人きりの夫婦の人生がどれだけ愛に溢れ、幸せで充実しているものなのかを、身を持って証明していきたいと思います。
『神様は私達に、子孫を残し子供を育てる人生ではなく、子供がいないからこそできる特殊な使命を与えてくれたに違いない。』
そう信じて、私達はとても前向きに、明るい気持ちで、幸せな決断を奇跡的に同時に一緒に選択する事ができました。
この決断は私達にとって1番腑に落ちる納得のいくもので何の迷いも感じる事なくお互いとても幸せな気持ちで受け入れる事ができました。
"For sure God has bestowed on us a particular mission because we are unable to have children, not a life which raises children and leaves behind offspring."
Believing this, we are really positive and have a cheerful feeling, we could miraculously choose this fortunate decision together at the same time.
For us, this understanding of this decision was from inside our gut, and we were able to accept each other with a feeling of great fortune, without any kind of hesitation.
"God must have given us not a life where we leave offspring and raise children but a special mission that we can achieve since we do not have a child."
By believing so, we selected a forward looking, positive and happy decision together at the same time miraculously.
This decision is the most convincing and we accepted it very happily each other without any hesitation.
' The God must have given us a special mission that could be done because of we have no child, instead the life in which we have children and grow them up'.
We believe it, we miraculously chose the happy decision at the same time and together ,in constructive, hopeful mind.
This decision was the most comprehending, convincing one for us so, we could accept it with happy feeling without any hesitation.
私達は今とてもワクワクした気持ちで、これからの人生が楽しみで仕方ありません。
この一年はとても辛い一年でしたが、2人の絆を更に強め、沢山の事を学び、成長する為の素晴らしい一年となりました。
今となっては、このような機会を与えてくれた神様に心から感謝しています。
この文章が、同じような悩みを持ち苦しんでいる人達の目に止まり、少しでも辛い気持ちが緩和されてくれる事を願います。
又、新しい選択や希望を持つきっかけになってくれれば嬉しいです。
This year was a very difficult year, but the bonds between the two of us were all the more strengthened, we learned many things, and it became a great year for growth.
As things are now, we are grateful from our heart to God who bestowed this sort of chance on us.
This composition stops before the eyes of people who suffer the same sort of troubles, and we hope it alleviates the harsh feeling even a little bit.
In addition, we'd be happy if it provides a chance of having new choices and aspirations.
It has been a hard 1 year this year, but has been a remarkable year where we have strengthened our bonds furthermore, learned a lot and grown.
At this moment, we deeply feel grateful to God who gave this kind of opportunity.
We wish that those who have this kind of problem find this sentence and reduce their hard feeling even a little.
We are also happy if they start to have a new selection and hope by us.
We had a bitter experience in a year. But this makes bonds of us deepen. Furthermore, we were able to learn a lot of things. It was a brilliant year to grow up.
At this time, We are grateful that god have given us this kind of opportunity.
I hope that this sentence catches sight of people who has suffered the same distress and ease hard feeling a little bit.
Furthermore, We are happy to have the oppotunity new choice and hope.
そして心許ない言葉がどれだけ不妊の問題を抱えている人を傷つけ追い詰めているか、それによって自ら命を落とす人も沢山いるという深刻な日本の現実を、周囲の人、特に日本の人に知ってほしいです。
私が今後周りから心許ない言葉などで傷つけられる事がないようにと、妻を守る為に、こういった自分のデリケートな体の事情を、堂々と公表しようと賛成してくれた彼の大胆さを、勇気を、私は心から誇りに思い、尊敬し、深く感謝しています。
辛い一年を、笑顔を忘れず過ごす事が出来たのは、彼の深い愛情のおかげです。
So as not to be hurt by uncertain words from around me from now on, in order to protect my wife, I am deeply grateful and respect, with feelings of pride from my heart, that boldness and bravery which agreed to make a dignified proclamation of the delicate condition of my body like this.
I am very grateful and respect for him who agreed to announce his naive body situation to not let myself get hurt by those words and protect my wife.
Thanks to his love, we were able to spend over the tough year with smiles.
sorry! "feminine part of his body" = the woman