突然ですが、この場をお借りして公表させて頂きたい事があります。
私達夫婦は、ちょうど一年程前から妊活を始めました。
妊活を始めるにあたって、お互いの体に問題がないか夫婦そろって検査を病院で受けました。
私の方には問題は見つかりませんでしたが、彼の方に男性不妊が見つかりました。
彼の問題は特殊で治療法が現在まだ解明されていない為、女性側の体に、副作用の強い薬物を使い、人工的に妊娠をアシストする治療を始める事しか方法がありませんでした。
It's kind of sudden but I'd like to borrow this opportunity to announce something.
We, husband and wife, started trying to get pregnant exactly a year before.
To start getting pregnant we both husband and wife got examined at the hospital to see whether there was no problem with either one of our bodies.
They found nothing wrong on my part, but they found male infertility for his.
Because his case is special and there is no cure so far, the only method to treat this was to use a drug with strong side effects on the feminine part of his body to artificially assist conception.
子宮年齢が若かった私の体は、その治療に対して特に副作用を起こしやすく、中には泣き叫ぶような苦痛をともなう物もあり、女性ホルモンのバランスも過剰に崩れる為、私の体調はどんどん悪くなっていき精神的にも不安定になっていきました。
そんなストレスから持病も再発してしまい、入院生活を送り透析治療を受けなくてはならない状況にまで陥りました。
しまいには声を出す事すらできなくなり友人や親族や知人との連絡も一切断ち、1人では外に出る事すらできなくなり、自殺の一歩手前まで追い詰められていきました。
My body, having a youthful womb, especially easily had side effects to the medical treatment, among them things which went hand in hand with pain which made me scream out, and because there was an excess imbalance of female hormones, my physical condition rapidly got worse and I became mentally unstable.
Because of that sort of stress, chronic diseases returned, and I fell into a situation where I had to receive dialysis treatment, spending my life in hospital.
Finally I couldn't even produce my voice, and contact with friends, relatives and acquaintances was completely cut off, I couldn't even go outside on my own, and I was cornered to one step this side of suicide.
そんな私を支え続けた彼も、自分を責めとても苦しい毎日を過ごした事でしょう。
私がどんなに情緒不安定になり彼にそれをぶつけようが一度として彼が取り乱した事はありませんでした。
いつも忍耐に忍耐を重ね、優しさと愛情を持って、私の体と心をケアする事を最優先してくれました。
私が望む事はどんな犠牲を払っても与えてくれましたし、私が少しでも笑顔になれる為なら自分の身を削ってなんでもしてくれました。
He continued to support me like that, and I spent every day in great pain, blaming myself. I had so much emotional instability which I vented on him, but he didn't lose his composure even once.
He prioritized taking care of my body and spirit, always piling on endurance on top of endurance, having tenderness and affection,
What I hoped for was that he would afford me brushing away any kind of scapegoating, and if I was even able to smile a little, he would curtail me by all means.
彼の仕事が休みの時に二人で遠出をし、都会の喧騒から離れ、自然の中で過ごす事だけが私達の唯一の息抜きとなっていました。
私達は何度も話し合い、一度妊活をお休みし、また来年から始めることに決めました。
この数ヶ月の休み期間中に、私達は冷静に物事を考えられるようになり、本来の自分達の考え方を取り戻せるようになりました。
ここまでなっても私達が妊活自体をやめようとしなかったのは、日本の深刻な少子化問題と関わりがあるのかもしれません。
When he had a holiday from his work, the two of us went far away, distanced ourselves from the noise of the city, and just spending time in nature became our sole relaxation.
We discussed things many times, temporarily ceased trying to have a baby, and decided to start again from the following year.
During that period of several months off, we reflected on things calmly, and returned to our original way of thinking.
Even up to this point, we didn't try to stop ourselves from having a baby, and maybe this was related to the serious problem of declining birthrates in Japan.
結婚したら子供を産むべき、産むのが当たり前結婚しても子供がいない夫婦への周りの悪意のない圧力などが私達の考えを狂わせていたように感じます。
そして不妊症と言えば女性側に問題があるというような根拠のない偏見により、私の心を特に意固地にさせていた面があると思います。来年から予定通りステップアップした治療をスタートすれば私の子宮年齢や卵の数から考えても、妊娠する事は容易だったはずですし医者からもそう診断されています。ただ、あえて私達はもう子供を作らない人生を選択する事を決断しました。
When we get married we should have a baby, even though having a baby is natural after marriage, we feel that the pressure put on the wife when there is ill will from around about for not having children would put our hopes into disarray.
And then, speaking of infertility, due to the groundless prejudices that it's a problem from the woman's point of view, I think there would be an especially obstinate guard around my heart. From next year when we start the step up medical treatment as we planned, even considering the age of my womb and the number of eggs, conception should have been easy and the doctor gave that sort of diagnosis. However, we decided to choose a life that didn't particularly created more children.
『私達は子供が欲しいから結婚した訳ではない。 私達は皆が羨む普通の人生を望んでいた訳ではない。 ただ2人で一緒にいる事がとても楽しくて、心安らいで、とても幸せで、お互いを心の底から愛しているから、一緒にいたかっただけの事。 そこにもともと子供という存在は必要なかった。』
もちろん2人の遺伝子を持つ子供を授かる事が出来ていたなら、それはとても幸せな事だったのだと思います。
2人の赤ちゃんをこの腕で抱く事をどれだけ楽しみに待ち望んでいたか、それは嘘ではありません。
"It doesn't mean that we got married because we couldn't have children. It doesn't mean that we desired a normal life which everyone could envy. However, the two of us are very happy together, and feel at ease in our hearts, and very happy, and because we love each other from the bottom of our hearts, we only wanted to be together. For that, the existence of a child wasn't necessary by nature."
Certainly, if we could be awarded a child that had our genes, we think that would be a very fortunate thing.
We eagerly look forward greatly to holding our baby in our arms, that isn't a lie.
ただ、2人で沢山悩み考えた末、そして冷静になって、本来の私達らしい生き方、2人にとっての本当の幸せの在り方を追求していった結果、私達は今後、あえて、子供は作らず、2人で人生を添い遂げようという決断を選択しました。
今後は、子供がいないからこそできる、個性が強くぶっ飛んだ2人だからこそできる、自分達も楽しくて、見ている人達も楽しくなってしまうようなファンキーな人生を築いていこうと思います。
かっこはつけず、ありのままに、私達らしく、自由に、笑顔で、楽しく生きていこうと思います。
However, the two of us considered our many troubles, and then became calm, and the way of life that seemed essential for us, the result which sought the way things should be for a true happiness for the two of us. From now on we opted not to particularly make children, but determined that the two of us remain married for life.
From now on, because we cannot have children, and because the two of us can jump strongly as individuals, we think we'll be happy and build up a funky life which people watching can enjoy as well.
Without adding parentheses, the truth is, we feel we will happily live appropriately for ourselves, freely, with smiling faces.
そして、子供を持たない2人きりの夫婦の人生がどれだけ愛に溢れ、幸せで充実しているものなのかを、身を持って証明していきたいと思います。
『神様は私達に、子孫を残し子供を育てる人生ではなく、子供がいないからこそできる特殊な使命を与えてくれたに違いない。』
そう信じて、私達はとても前向きに、明るい気持ちで、幸せな決断を奇跡的に同時に一緒に選択する事ができました。
この決断は私達にとって1番腑に落ちる納得のいくもので何の迷いも感じる事なくお互いとても幸せな気持ちで受け入れる事ができました。
And then the life of the two of us just as a married couple with no children is overflowing with so much love, and we feel we'd like to verify that we have ourselves an enhancement of our happiness.
"For sure God has bestowed on us a particular mission because we are unable to have children, not a life which raises children and leaves behind offspring."
Believing this, we are really positive and have a cheerful feeling, we could miraculously choose this fortunate decision together at the same time.
For us, this understanding of this decision was from inside our gut, and we were able to accept each other with a feeling of great fortune, without any kind of hesitation.
私達は今とてもワクワクした気持ちで、これからの人生が楽しみで仕方ありません。
この一年はとても辛い一年でしたが、2人の絆を更に強め、沢山の事を学び、成長する為の素晴らしい一年となりました。
今となっては、このような機会を与えてくれた神様に心から感謝しています。
この文章が、同じような悩みを持ち苦しんでいる人達の目に止まり、少しでも辛い気持ちが緩和されてくれる事を願います。
又、新しい選択や希望を持つきっかけになってくれれば嬉しいです。
We now have a very excited feeling, and we can't help but look forward to life from now on.
This year was a very difficult year, but the bonds between the two of us were all the more strengthened, we learned many things, and it became a great year for growth.
As things are now, we are grateful from our heart to God who bestowed this sort of chance on us.
This composition stops before the eyes of people who suffer the same sort of troubles, and we hope it alleviates the harsh feeling even a little bit.
In addition, we'd be happy if it provides a chance of having new choices and aspirations.
そして心許ない言葉がどれだけ不妊の問題を抱えている人を傷つけ追い詰めているか、それによって自ら命を落とす人も沢山いるという深刻な日本の現実を、周囲の人、特に日本の人に知ってほしいです。
私が今後周りから心許ない言葉などで傷つけられる事がないようにと、妻を守る為に、こういった自分のデリケートな体の事情を、堂々と公表しようと賛成してくれた彼の大胆さを、勇気を、私は心から誇りに思い、尊敬し、深く感謝しています。
辛い一年を、笑顔を忘れず過ごす事が出来たのは、彼の深い愛情のおかげです。
And then unsure words corner and hurt people bearing the problem of infertility so much, and people around you and especially Japanese people want to know the serious reality of Japan, where many people who fall into a dilemma in their lives because of this.
So as not to be hurt by uncertain words from around me from now on, in order to protect my wife, I am deeply grateful and respect, with feelings of pride from my heart, that boldness and bravery which agreed to make a dignified proclamation of the delicate condition of my body like this.
