[Translation from Japanese to English ] I was scolded numerous times by my father and felt wound up because of that. ...

Original text

うちはDV家庭で父親がDV男なのですが、父が、飼っている鳥を殺してやる！と暴れ出したので、役所に相談し、鳥たちは近くに住む妹に来て貰って任せ、私は職場近くのビジネスホテルに避難して、今日の夕方自宅へ戻ってきたばかりです。
家を出る時に前に用意しておいた首吊り用のロープをトランクに忍ばせ、今日の昼間、前から決めておいた場所で首を吊ろうと思いましたが、今のところ取り敢えずまだ生きています。
インコたちがいるので、何とか死なずに済むなら生きてインコたちと暮らしたい…。
私は我が儘ですね。

Translation / English

My home is of DV caused by my father. He started being violent saying that he would kill the bird we kept as a pet, so we went to the city hall for a consultation and left the bird with my younger sister who live in the neighbourhood while I evacuated at a business hotel near my work, then this evening I just returned home.
Before I left my house, I hid a hanging rope that I had prepared in the past. During the day today, I was going to hang myself at a spot I had picked to do so previously. So far, however, I am still alive.
Because of my parakeets, I want to live with them if there is any way I don't have to choose to die.
I guess I am selfish.

tearz- over 4 years ago
My home is of DV --> I come from a DV environment

Translation / English

In my family, my father acts a domestic violence. He starts escalating that he tries to kill a bird, so that I reported the city office about it. Birds were evacuated to the house of my siblings. I also did the same to an business hotel near my office. I have just returned to my home in the afternoon shortly before.
I hided a rope for hanging in the trunk prepared before leaving home, I suppose I tried to hung myself where I decided but I am still alive.
Because there are parakeets, I want to live with them as long as I don't have to die.
That is my indulgence.

Translation / English

My father uses domestic violence, or DV in my family. Because he started rampaging, saying he would kill our birds, I talked to the government office and ask my sister who lives nearby to take care of them. I evacuated to a business hotel near my workplace and just returned to my home this evening.
When leaving the house, I put a rope that I prepared earlier in the trunk. Although I thought I would hang my neck at the place I had decided before in the day today, I am still alive so far.
I have my parakeets. I would like to live with them if I could avoid the death.
I know I am selfish.

Translation / English

My home is a case of domestic abuse where my father is the abuser; my father lashed out saying "I'll kill your bird!" After discussing this with the public office, I had the birds be kept at my younger sister's place while I stayed at a business hotel nearby; I had just returned home this afternoon.
Before I left my house, I sneaked the rope prepared for hanging into my suitcase and planned to hang myself at noon at a predetermined place; but I am still alive as for now.
Since I still have the parakeets, if I manage not to commit suicide, I would like to live with my parakeets...
I'm just indulging myself.

Original text

沢山父に罵倒されて神経がまいっています。
でも、天使が父を通して私にメッセージを伝えてきているのかなとも思います。
父に「小さい頃虐められて辛かったとか言ってたけど、お前なんか人から嫌われて虐められて当然じゃ、ボケ！」と怒鳴られたんです…
心の中で「うん、知ってる…」と返事しました。
最近、私は「自分も人間だったら良かったのに…人間に生まれたかった…」などと分不相応な事を考えていたので、神様が怒って父に言わせたのだと思います。
人間社会の善悪と霊界の善悪は全く異なるそうですから。

Translation / English

I was scolded numerous times by my father and felt wound up because of that.
However, I think that angels have used my father to send me a message.
My father yelled at me before, "I felt terrible when I was abused at a young age, but it's natural for people to hate and abuse you, you fool!"
I replied, "Yes, I know.." from the bottom of my heart.
Recently, I started to shift my thinking and have this train of thought more often, "I find it good that I am human...I am fortunate to be born human...", so I wanted to say this to my father.
This is because the good and evil in human society and in the spiritual world are entirely different.

soulsensei- over 4 years ago
Sorry, I made a typo. Please use this instead:

I was scolded numerous times by my father and felt wound up because of that.
However, I think that angels have used my father to send me a message.
My father yelled at me before, "You used to feel terrible when you were abused, but it's natural for people to hate and abuse you, you fool!"
I replied, "Yes, I know.." from the bottom of my heart.
Recently, I started to shift my thinking and have this train of thought more often, "I find it good that I am human...I am fortunate to be born human...", so maybe God made my father say this.
This is because the good and evil in human society and in the spiritual world are entirely different.

Translation / English

I am a nervous wreck for having been abused by my father a lot.
But somewhere in my mind I am thinking that an angel is passing a message to me through him.
He yelled at me like "You said you had a hard time for being bullied, but it doesn't surprise me because you deserve for being hated and bullied, you silly ass!".
I replied "Yeah I know that" in my heart.
Lately I have been thinking something unsuited for me like "I wish I were a man... I wanted to be born as a human being...", so I guess Lord got upset and made my father say such a thing.
It makes sense to me because I heard that good and bad weighs completely different between the human society and the spiritual world.

Translation / English

I am completely down because I got told off by my father a lot.
But on the other hand, an angel might hand a message for me through the act of my father I presumably thought.
I was scolded like "You used to say you were terrible when in kid, it is natural you are disliked from others".
"I know that", replied in my mind.
Lately I think "I wish I could be a man, I wanted to be a human " then the god might make my father said so.
The good and evil in human society and the spirit world are seemingly totally different.