Rachael H. (aisucreamsoda) — もらったレビュー

元の翻訳
#ゴールフエックシェス (#golfXcess)

ＲＢＺステージ２プロート２１．５ (RBZ Stage 2 Proto 21.5) だけほしいですか。四本だけですか。
明日、またあつらえるから、できるだけ早く知らせてください。
それで、私はイーベー (Ebay) でＲＢＺプロートがあります。買いたかったら、知らせてください。一本は＄５０だけです。

修正後
#ゴールフエックシェス (#golfXcess)

つまり、ＲＢＺステージ２プロート２１．５ (RBZ Stage 2 Proto 21.5) だけがほしいのですか。四本だけですか。
明日、別の注文をするので、できるだけ早く知らせてください。
また、私はイーベイ (Ebay) でＲＢＺプロートを何本か出品してください。もしそちらがご入用の場合は、教えて下さい。一本たったの＄５０です。

元の翻訳
Thank you for your speedy reply.
I have been able to meet the estimated deadline safely.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule for me.

Once again, I sincerely thank you.

修正後
Thank you for your speedy reply.
I managed to submit the quotation by the deadline.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule for me.

Once again, I sincerely thank you.

元の翻訳
I sincerely apologise for the inconvenience caused this time.
It seems our company's employees have failed to notice your email, and thus did not reply.
I am very sorry about this.
We will send you this product once more, in perfect packaging.
Of course, we will not charge you for this.
We will ensure that such things do not happen again.
As such, can we please ask that you revise your feedback after you have received your new and perfectly packaged product?
It will become a serious problem for the seller otherwise, we will greatly appreciate if you would please kindly agree to our offer.

修正後
I sincerely apologise for the inconvenience (weが必要　他人事のように聞こえる。日本人的発送かもしれませんが) caused this time.
It seems our company's employees have failed to notice your email, and thus did not reply.
I am very sorry about this.
We will send you this product once more, in perfect packaging.
Of course, we will not charge you for this.
We will ensure that such things do not happen again.
As such, can we please ask that you revise your feedback after you (willが必要なのでは、現在完了形ではないので）　have received your　(ourではないですか） new and perfectly packaged product?
It will become a serious problem for the seller　（us sellersではないですか） otherwise, （接続詞がありません）we will greatly appreciate if you would please kindly agree to our offer.

元の翻訳
I understand the following points. However, I have two questions.

1
He informed you last week that he was returning to America.
However, at that point in time, you did not turn him down.
That is why you should be acknowledging this problem.

2
If you don't tell AAA about this problem, he/she would not know.
Who is going to tell the government?

Please verify the contents of the email that you sent again.
I am discussing this with you, yet there is no sign of a plan that could resolve this matter in your reply.
Right now, I just want to know what the best way to proceed is.

修正後
I understand the following points. However, I have two questions.

1
He informed you last week that he was returning to America.
However, at that point in time, you did not turn him down.
That is why you should be acknowledging this problem.

2
If you didn't tell AAA about this problem, he/she would not know.
Who is going to tell the government?

Please verify the contents of the email that you sent again.
I am discussing this with you, yet there is no sign of a plan that could resolve this matter in your reply.
Right now, I just want to know what the best way to proceed is.