ichi_09 — もらったレビュー

元の翻訳
Have you enjoyed my auction?

修正後
Have you enjoyed my auction item?

元の翻訳
In this social world in which needs communication between multiple languages according to the process of globalization, we see often that the slight language barrier blocks various activities such as international exchanges, information-sharing, and overseas advance.
The translation serves an important role in such circumstance.
In the translation market there are already competitors such as professional translators(or translation agents) or substitutions such as mechanical translations on the web, though they don't fulfill niche needs of the customers who has casual demand in the aspect of the price and quality.
We meet such customers' needs with our advantage, flexibility and convenience.
We conduct a service named Conyac which contains a new concept—social translation. We will create a new environment where provided more realtime translation for any person by improving translators' database and increasing the amount of registrants(users) through the social media like SNS.

修正後
In this social world in which needs communication between multiple languages according to the process of globalization, we see often that the slight language barrier blocks various activities such as international exchanges, information-sharing, and overseas advance.
The translation serves an important role in such circumstances.
In the translation market there are already competitors such as professional translators(or translation agents) or substitutions such as mechanical translations on the web, though they don't fulfill niche needs of the customers who have casual demand in the aspect of the price and quality.
We meet such customers' needs with our advantage, flexibility and convenience.
We conduct a service named Conyac which contains a new concept—social translation. We will create a new environment where provided more real-time translation for any person by improving translators' database and increasing the amount of registrants(users) through the social media like SNS.

元の翻訳
I've got a bit cold.
Thank you for the mail. Your mail most encourages me.
It made me really happy. And I'm happy to hear you are busy.
I got that any Japanese visited Hawaii.
I was also busy during the Golden Week. I've been busy with making ads for the Golden Week and helped the shop during the Golden Week.
In Japan, cold days and warm days are switching and many people get sick.
It's abnormal weather that there is so cold day we have almost snow even it's May.
Though Japanese rainy season, Tsuyu, begins actually in June, it's very rainy this year, today also it rains.
Ron is doing fine. He/She has obviously grown up these days and behaves good. But he/she is so playful at the walking, lol.
I feel sorry that Chere is itchy. I hope he/she gets well soon.
I'm very tired every day recently as my work is getting more harder.

（訳注：Ron も Chere も性別がわからないので he/she としてあります。）

修正後
I've caught a bit cold.
Thank you for the mail. Your mail most encourages me.
It made me really happy. And I'm happy to hear you are busy.
I got that any Japanese visited Hawaii.
I was also busy during the Golden Week. I've been busy with making ads for the Golden Week and helped the shop during the Golden Week.
In Japan, cold days and warm days are switching and many people get sick.
It's abnormal weather that there is so cold day we have almost snow even it's May.
Though Japanese rainy season, begins actually in June, it's very rainy this year, today also it rains.
Ron is doing fine. He/She has obviously grown up these days and behaves good. But he/she is so playful at the walking, lol.
I feel sorry that Chere is itchy. I hope he/she gets well soon.
I'm very tired every day recently as my work is getting more harder.

（訳注：Ron も Chere も性別がわからないので he/she としてあります。）

元の翻訳
干ばつや戦乱状態が長引けば、作物は駄目になり、多くの人々が餓死することになる。土壌浸食の主な原因である森林伐採やイナゴ被害も飢餓の一因となる。潜在飢餓状態は、３百万人のアメリカ人を含む全世界の３分の１の人々が陥っていると考えられている。ほぼどの国においても、ホームレスの家庭、失業者、固定額の年金で生活する高齢者、片親家庭は存在し、そういった人々は食料品の価格が上がるほど口にする食料が減るのである。

修正後
干ばつや戦乱状態が長引けば、作物は駄目になり、多くの人々が餓死することになる。土壌浸食の主な原因である森林伐採やイナゴ被害も飢餓の一因となる。潜在飢餓状態は、３千万人のアメリカ人を含む全世界の３分の１の人々が陥っていると考えられている。ほぼどの国においても、ホームレスの家庭、失業者、固定額の年金で生活する高齢者、片親家庭は存在し、そういった人々は食料品の価格が上がるほど口にする食料が減るのである。

元の翻訳
2006年、日本警察庁は道路交通法の改訂案数件を公表した。うち一案は、飲酒運転対策法の強化であり、これは全国的に相次いで報道される飲酒運転事件を受けたものである。改訂以前の法規定では、呼気1リットル当たりのアルコール濃度0.15mg以上が飲酒運転とされた。また、飲酒運転者にアルコールや車両を提供した者も処罰対象となった。

修正後
2006年、日本警察庁は道路交通法の改訂案数件を公表した。うち一案は、飲酒運転対策法の強化であり、これは全国的に相次いで報道される飲酒運転事件を受けたものである。改訂以前の法規定では、呼気1リットル当たりのアルコール濃度0.15mg以上が飲酒運転とされた。また、飲酒運転者にアルコールや車両を提供した者も処罰対象となっていた。