翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )
評価: 50 / 2 Reviews / 2014/06/19 11:08:24
ご購入いただいた商品をメーカーのエプソンに発注いたしましたが、在庫が切れていて9月以降の出荷となると連絡がありました。
協力店にも応援で在庫を回してもらうよう要請してみましたが、すべての店舗で在庫切れとの事でした。
大変申し訳ございません。
このままお待ちいただいて入荷後に発送させていただく事もできますが、どういたしますか？
キャンセルなさいますか？
We have placed your ordered item to EPSON, however we were informed that the item is currently out of stock and its next shippment schedule will not be any time after September. We have also tried to allocate the available inventory from the partner shops, however we could not find one for you. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused.
You could either await till the next shipment or cancel the order. Which would be good for you?
レビュー ( 2 )
元の翻訳
We have placed your ordered item to EPSON, however we were informed that the item is currently out of stock and its next shippment schedule will not be any time after September. We have also tried to allocate the available inventory from the partner shops, however we could not find one for you. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused.
You could either await till the next shipment or cancel the order. Which would be good for you?
修正後
We have placed the order of the item you've purchased to EPSON which is a maker of it, however, we've got informed that it's out of stock and its shipment will not be before September. ↵
We have asked our partner shops to ship one in stock forward to us for help, too, but we've been told that it's out of stock at every one of them. ↵
We apologize from the bottom of our hearts.
You could either wait until we ship it after receiving it or cancel the order. Which would be good for you?
９月以降の出荷になるという大事な情報が、９月までは出荷できるという訳になっています。
このレビューを33％の人が「適切であった」と回答しています。
元の翻訳
We have placed your ordered item to EPSON, however we were informed that the item is currently out of stock and its next shippment schedule will not be any time after September. We have also tried to allocate the available inventory from the partner shops, however we could not find one for you. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused.
You could either await till the next shipment or cancel the order. Which would be good for you?
修正後
We have placed your ordered item to EPSON, however we were informed that the item is currently out of stock and its next shipment schedule will not be any time before September. We have also tried to allocate the available inventory from the partner shops, however we could not find one for you. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused.
You could either await till the next shipment or cancel the order. Which would be good for you?
EPSONほどのメーカーになると「メーカーの」という但し書きは省略しても問題ありません。「9月以降」は他のレビューが指摘するように"not before September"とするのが自然だと思います。それ以外は商用文らしく簡潔で要領を得た模範的文章です。
You have made an excellent example of how the business letter should be written; to get the ideas across in concise manner. One problem, however is the translation of 「9月以降」which is really confusing. As other reviewer pointed out "not...before September" sounds better. The rest of the letter shows great example of an experienced business letter writer.
このレビューを100％の人が「適切であった」と回答しています。
will not be any time after September--> will not be any time until after Septemberでお願いします。その他の部分は特に問題ないと思います。レビューありがとうございました。
"will not be any time until after September" means "will be after September", excluding the month from the time of the shipment. The original text says "9月以降", meaning the shipment can be done from that month. So, it's wrong for the text, too. As for the other part of your translation, there are many things which should be corrected, too. I've checked the translation thoroughly. Considering it that lots of correction has been made and the translation of one of the most important pieces of information is wrong, your translation of this one deserves the lowest rate. Think of it that the buyer may be trying to buy some expensive machine, because the product has been made by EPSON. The time of the shipment of the item is very important to him or her in order to make a decision about purchasing. I didn't give you the lowest rate, being mean to you. But I can tell you gave a low rate to the translations of mine I hadn't wanted anyone to review, immediately after I reviewed this one, because you wanted to get back at me! Not nice! I ask for reviews only of the translations which I think are good. I never want anyone to review others. Don't go through my translations to find ones which aren't good so that you can give low rates to me again! I hate it. I can tell your mean character, so I will never review your translation again. And, you will never review my translations again, either! Never go through my translations to find ones to give a low rate to again! If you do that again, I will do the same to you. Remember that.
And, don't make a comment to me again, either. I don't want you to talk to me. If you comment again, I will review your work again. You know what it means.
Don't take it personally that I've rated this translation in the way. I was looking for some short translation to review that morning. I wasn't feeling like checking a long one then. I was looking at finished translations for public, found this one, and thought it was short. And, I realized one of the most important pieces of information was translated in a wrong way in it. So, I decided to review it. I didn't give the rate to you with a mean intention, but purely for you. So, just stop going through my translations and reviewing my works. I really never want you to review my translation again.
Just forget about me! I guess you've been getting lots of good reviews, so my rate of this translation has affected your quality so little here. さようなら。