Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )
Rating: 50 / 1 Review / 26 Jan 2017 at 04:17
アメリカの国旗のデザインを参考モチーフに、色味や模様を製品デザイン構成に取り込みました。アメリカの新大統領も就任しましたが、独立記念日など、シーズナブルな期間限定展開の商品デザインとしていかがでしょうか?
色変更のデザイン提案資料の件、お送りしたものを更に少し解り易く纏め直しましたので、添付ファイルご確認ください。
あと金曜日のM氏との打ち合わせの件、了解しました。事前に金曜日の朝にでも貴方とM氏とのミーティング前に作戦会議しますか? 必要であれば金曜朝打ち合わせしましょう。
We incorporated colors and patterns into the product design composition with reference to the American flag design as a reference motif. New American president also took office, and how about as a product design for a limited time only, such as Independence Day, etc.?
As for the design change proposal material of the color change, since I changed the thing which we sent you a little more easily understandably, please check the attached file.
I am ok about the meeting with Mr. M on Friday. Will we have a team meeting on morning Friday before we meet him? Let 's have a meeting on Friday morning if necessary.
Reviews ( 1 )
original
We incorporated colors and patterns into the product design composition with reference to the American flag design as a reference motif. New American president also took office, and how about as a product design for a limited time only, such as Independence Day, etc.?
As for the design change proposal material of the color change, since I changed the thing which we sent you a little more easily understandably, please check the attached file.
I am ok about the meeting with Mr. M on Friday. Will we have a team meeting on morning Friday before we meet him? Let 's have a meeting on Friday morning if necessary.
corrected
We incorporated colors and patterns into the product design composition with utilizing the American flag design as a reference motif. The new American president also took office, so how about this as a product design for a limited time only, such as Independence Day, etc.?
As for the design change proposal material of the color change, since we have made changes to the thing which we sent you to make it a little more easily understandable, please check the attached file.
We are ok about the meeting with Mr. M on Friday. Will we have a team meeting on morning Friday before we meet him? Let 's have a meeting on Friday morning if necessary.
Good try!
A few comments to add:
- first sentence, you are using "refer" twice. Once is enough, so replacing one of the words with something like "utilize" could be better.
- "how about as a ..." → It gives me the question, "how about what??" so placing a word to indicate what you are talking about would be great.
- "since I changed the thing which we sent you a little more easily understandably..."→you changed it, to "make it" more understandable.
- "I am ok"→"We are ok". Just nicer to keep the personal pronouns consistent.
You are doing well! Keep trying :)
Thank you for your corrections! You are so kind :)