突然ですが､この場をお借りして公表させて頂きたい事があり､長文で恐縮ですがお手隙の際に読んで頂けたら嬉しいです｡
私達夫婦は1年程前から妊活を始めましたが、彼の方に男性不妊が見つかり不妊治療を受けていました｡ 彼の問題はまだ治療法が無い為､女性側の体に薬物を用い人工的に妊娠をｱｼｽﾄする治療法しかありませんでした｡
私の子宮年齢が特に若く副作用を起こし易かった為､それは泣き叫ぶような苦痛を伴うものもあり､ﾎﾙﾓﾝﾊﾞﾗﾝｽも崩れ､私は心身共にどんどん壊れていきました｡
It's sudden but I'd like you to make an official announcement about loaning this place, and I'd be happy if you could read the long letter expressing my gratitude when you have time. We as a couple began trying to have a baby from about a year ago, but male infertility was discovered by them and we received infertility treatment. Because there was still no treatment for his problem, they used drugs on the body of the woman, and only gave treatment to artificially assist pregnancy. The age of my womb was especially young and easily suffered side effects, so it was accompanied by a pain that made me scream out loud, disturbed my hormonal balance, and my mind and body was rapidly broken together with this.
それが原因で持病も再発し､入院生活や透析治療を受けざるを得ない状況に陥りました｡
私はしばらくの期間声も失い､友人知人との連絡も断ち､引き篭もり､自殺の一歩手前まで追い詰められていきました｡
そんな私を支え続けてくれた彼も､自分を責め､とても辛い毎日を過ごしました｡
情緒不安定な私に彼が感情的になった事は1度もなく､常に優しさと愛情を持って私の心身のｹｱを最優先してくれました｡
ここまできても妊活をやめようとしなかったのは､日本の深刻な少子化問題と繋がりがあります｡
That is the cause of the relapse in chronic disease, and I fell into a situation of being in hospital and not getting dialysis treatment. After a short period I lost my voice, cut off contact with friends and acquaintances, stayed home and was cornered one step this side of suicide. He supported me in that way too, I blamed myself, and spent every day very painfully. He didn't once become emotional at my emotional instability, and always gave maximum care to my mind and body with tenderness and affection. Not stopping trying to have a baby up to this point, this is connected to the problem of seriously declining birth rates in Japan.
結婚したら子を産むべき､産むのが当たり前､子がいない夫婦への周囲の悪意無き圧力などが､私達の考えを狂わせていた様に感じます｡
私達は話合い､1度妊活を休み､又来年から始める事にしました｡
この休養期間中に私達は冷静になり､本来の考え方を取り戻す事ができました｡
『私達は子供が欲しいから結婚した訳ではない｡私達は皆が羨む普通の人生を望んでいた訳ではない｡只一緒にいる事がとても楽しく心安らいで幸せで､お互いを心底愛しているから一緒になっただけの事｡そこに元々子供という文字はなかった』
The pressure from other people that a married couple should have children and it is just too natural made us crazy although they do not mean to be evil.
We talked and decided to re-start a treatment next year again after taking a rest for a while.
During this recharging period, we could remember ourselves and our genuine thought.
'We did not marry each other because wanted children. We did not wish to have a standard life that everyone envies. Just we wanted to be with each other because, when we were together, we enjoyed it, were relaxed and very happy, and love each other from the bottom of our hearts. Children were not necessary in our love in the first place.'
来年から予定通り治療をｽﾀ-ﾄすれば､子宮年齢や卵の数から診ても妊娠自体は難しい事ではなかった筈ですし医師もそう診断しています｡
ただ､あえて､私達はもう､子供を作らない人生を選択する事を決断しました｡
もちろん2人の子供を授かる事が出来ていたならそれはとても幸せだった事でしょう｡
2人の赤ちゃんをこの腕で抱く事をどれだけ楽しみに待ち望んでいたか計り知れません｡
If we start the treatment next year as we planned, it would not be difficult to get pregnant regarding my uterus age and the number of oocytes. Our doctor also said that.
But we have rather decided to choose a life without children.
Of course, we would have been very happy if we could have children.
I cannot tell how much we have been longing for huggin our baby in the arms.
ただ､2人で沢山悩み考え抜いた末､2人にとっての本当の幸せの在り方を追求した結果､私達は子供は持たず､2人で人生を添い遂げようという決断に至りました｡
今後私達は､子供がいないからこそできる､個性が強い2人だからこそできる､ﾌｧﾝｷ-で楽しい人生を築いていこうと思います｡
見栄を張らず､私達らしく､自由に生きていく｡
このﾒｯｾ-ｼﾞが､同じ様な悩みを持ち苦しんでいる人の目に止まり､少しでも辛い気持ちが浄化されたり､新しい選択や希望を持つきっかけになってくれれば嬉しいです｡
But after we suffered and considered a lot, as a result of pursuit of a true happiness for us we have decided that we live our lives just with two of us without children.
We want to live a fancy and joyful life together that is only possible because we do not have children and we are unique.
We will not care what others think and will live like ourselves.
I would be happy if my message here would catch an eye of someone who is suffering from the similar problem, would relieve their pain even a little, or would motivate them to have new choices and hopes.
そして無知が故、心許ない言葉がどれだけ不妊の問題を抱えている人を傷つけるか､それにより自ら命を落とす人もいるという深刻な日本の現状を周囲の人(特に日本人の方)に知ってほしいです｡
男性側に不妊原因があるｹ-ｽは女性側と同率であるという事実も知ってほしいのです｡
不妊についてもっと周囲に知って貰う為､周囲から私を守る為､繊細な事情を堂々と公表しようと賛同してくれた彼の大胆さと勇気を､心から尊敬し深く感謝しています｡
辛い1年を笑顔を忘れず過ごす事が出来たのは彼の深い愛情のおかげです｡
Also I would like people (particularly Japanese people) to know how much unkind words, which come from ignorance, hurt someone who is suffering from infertility, and such a serious situation in Japan that those words can even make them to kill themselves.
I also want them to know that the causes of infertility is in males in about a half of the cases.
I respect and appreciate his audacity and bravery because he agreed to disclosing such a sensitive issue in order to let people know better about infertility and to protect me from others.
It is because of his deep love that I could spend the painful year with smiling.
長文､そして一方的で個人的な内容にも関わらず､読んで下さりありがとうございました｡
このInstagramでの交流は､孤独だった私に､とても大きな愛情と勇気をくれました｡
皆さんの温かい言葉､優しさに救われた1年でした｡
本当にどうもありがとうございます｡
この公表をもって私達夫婦の新しい人生は始まります｡
読んで下さり本当にありがとう。
皆さんの幸せと健康を心からお祈り致します｡ 愛と感謝の気持ちを込めて..
Thank you all for reading this very personal writing.
I used to be lonely but all the communication here on Instagram have given me lots of love and encouragement.
Your warmhearted words and kindness saved me throughout the year.
We are at the next starting point in life by thanking you now.
I am really thankful for your reading.
My very best wishes for your health and happiness. With all our love and gratitude.
