翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

いつもお世話になります。1周間前に○○さんに下記のメールを送りましたが、まだお返事をいただいて
おりません。売上金の振込が間もなく発生するので、とても困っています。口座をアクティブにしていただくよう至急お手続きお願いします。口座をアクティブにするために、何か追加で書類などの提出は必要でしょうか?口座がアクティブになるまで、どのくらいの時間がかかりますか?

英語

Thank you for always taking care of me. A week ago, I sent the following email to Mr. ○○, but I have not received a reply. The transfer of proceeds is occurring right now, so it's very much a problem. Please do the procedures immediate to active the account. In order to activate the account, do you need me to submit something extra like a document? How much time until the account is activated?

レビュー ( 1 )

bluejeans71はこの翻訳結果を"★★★"と評価しました 2016/10/02 09:09:57

元の翻訳
Thank you for always taking care of me. A week ago, I sent the following email to Mr. ○○, but I have not received a reply. The transfer of proceeds is occurring right now, so it's very much a problem. Please do the procedures immediate to active the account. In order to activate the account, do you need me to submit something extra like a document? How much time until the account is activated?

修正後
Thank you as always. I emailed Mr. ○○ with the following content a week ago, but I have not heard from him. I am in great trouble as the transfer of proceeds is about to take place anytime soon. Please proceed immediately to active the account. Do I need to submit other extra documents to activate the account? How much time will it take before the account is activated?

In translating Japanese texts into English ones, analyze each sentence and write the main clause (e.g "I am in great trouble") before you write the sub clause (e.g "as the transfer of proceeds is about to take place anytime soon.") so the content of the text looks concise to the reader.