翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

この度は当店の商品をご購入いただきありがとうございました。

日本の祝日のため、ご連絡が遅くなってしまい申し訳ありません。

こちらの商品の在庫を確認いたしましたところ、新品の商品ではありますが、
店頭展示品のため商品にややスレがある商品となってしまいますがよろしいでしょうか…？

お返事お待ちしています。
よろしくお願いいたします。

英語

Thank you for your purchase of our product.
I apologize for the delay of my reply because Japan is now in national holidays.

I checked the inventory of the product and indeed I have a new one in stock. But it is a display in a showcase and it looks worn a little. Would it be okay with you?

I look forward to your reply.
Thank you.

レビュー ( 1 )

jyebabaはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2015/09/22 10:15:36

元の翻訳
Thank you for your purchase of our product.
I apologize for the delay of my reply because Japan is now in national holidays.

I checked the inventory of the product and indeed I have a new one in stock. But it is a display in a showcase and it looks worn a little. Would it be okay with you?

I look forward to your reply.
Thank you.

修正後
Thank you for your purchase of our product.
I apologize for the delay of my reply because it is currently a national holiday in Japan.

I checked the inventory of the product and indeed I have a new one in stock. But it is on display in our showcase and it looks a little worn. Is that okay with you?

I look forward to your reply.
Thank you.

Good job. However, there is one major point that should be addressed in order to improve the quality of your translation.

"because Japan is now on national holidays" → "because it is currently a national holiday in Japan"
I can see where this might seem a little tricky. The phrase "(Someone) is on holiday", means that a person took time off from work either during a period that is designated as an official holiday or during a period in which doing so is permitted by their employer (as a side note, in the U.S. we typically use the word "vacation" in this instance). As this is the case, a country cannot be on national holiday.

Other than that, keep up the good work! :)