翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )
評価: 52 / 1 Review / 2015/09/19 13:00:11
設立年月日
資本金
事業内容
インターネットを利用した各種情報提供サービス並びに販売
インターネットを利用する情報システム及び通信ネットワークの企画・設計・運用に関する業務
広告代理業
前各号に附帯または関連する一切の業務
沿革
音楽制作機材に関する情報を提供するウェブサイト soundrope を開設
合同会社サウンドロープ設立
自社ブログメディア（soundrope.com）をロンチ
主要お取引先
業務実績
Date of foundation
Capital
Busiiness content
Various information providing services and their sales using internet
Planning, design, and management of information systems and communication networks using internet
Advertising agency
All the related busineses related to the abovementioned
History
A webside that provide information relating to tools that produce music provided its service
A joint venture Soundrope was founded
Our own entity blog media (soundrope.com) was launched
Major customers
Business achievements
レビュー ( 1 )
元の翻訳
Date of foundation
Capital
Busiiness content
Various information providing services and their sales using internet
Planning, design, and management of information systems and communication networks using internet
Advertising agency
All the related busineses related to the abovementioned
History
A webside that provide information relating to tools that produce music provided its service
A joint venture Soundrope was founded
Our own entity blog media (soundrope.com) was launched
Major customers
Business achievements
修正後
Date of foundation
Capital
Business content
Various information providing services and sales using the Internet
Planning, design, and management of information systems and communication networks using the Internet
Advertising agency
All businesses related to the abovementioned
History
Establishing a website that provides information relating to music production equipment
Founding Soundrope, limited-liability company
Launching our media blog (soundrope.com)
Major customers
Business achievements
While you have quite a few spelling errors/errors in word order throughout your translation, it is still readable and you mostly managed to preserve the meaning of the original text. However, always be sure to double-check your work before submitting it! Do not sacrifice speed for accuracy ;)
The reason I could not give this translation a good score is that your translation of "合同会社" is incorrect. In English, this is usually translated as "limited liability company", often seen as the acronym "LLC". A joint venture "合弁企業" is an entirely different type of company structure. The biggest difference between an LLC and a JV is legal liability. Members of an LLC are protected against personally incurring company debts, while members of a JV are entirely subject to having business creditors seize their personal assets should their company fall into any sort of financial trouble. Please exercise caution when translating important things such as these!
Thank you for your reviewing my work. It reminded me of the importance of accuracy and speed once again.
I have one unclear point as follows and if possible I would appreciate it if you could comment on this. It is regarding the fourth line of the English translation that goes in your corrected version as "Various information providing services and sales using the Interneton." My questions is that it still seems the word "their" is needed before "sales" because without "their" desciption regarding what kind of "sales" seems not clear. Can you understand the "sales" here means the sales of "インターネットを利用した各種情報" without "their"?
Your comments are very precious as there are very few who are native of English and who can comment English translation from Japanese. Thank you once again for commenting my work.
No problem. As a side note, I realized I should have written "do not sacrifice accuracy for speed", not the other way around! I'm glad you understood what I was trying to say haha
To answer your question, you can definitely include "their". Not having it makes it sound like the services are providing the various information, while "the sales" refers to all sales conducted over the Internet. Good call ;)
With that being said, what I should have done was rearrange the word order of that sentence.
If you want to keep the word order you initially used, you would have to insert a hyphen between each word of your compound modifier. Otherwise, it reads as if the various information somehow uses the Internet to provide these services and sales! As we know that this cannot be the case, we could "write various-information-providing services and their sales using the Internet". However, this sounds quite clunky, so perhaps a better alternative would be "Services providing various information using the Internet and their sales".
To make this issue clearer, think about the difference between the phrase "man eating shark" and "man-eating shark". In the first example, we have a person, who happens to be male, enjoying a nice hunk of shark meat. In the second, we have a shark who has acquired a taste for human flesh. Quite different, eh?
Thank you very much for your comment once again. It was very educational for me and it should for all the Japanese generating English translation here. I am not sure I could explain a correct Japanese phrase why it is that way clearly as you did. I believe that conyac should give good rewards when English natives comments to Japanese-translated-Japanese-to-English translation as a system here (I learned the usage of hyphen is effective though it makes some part chunky. Thank you for that too). This should be very beneficial for conyac and every one here! Thank you once again for very valuable comments.