翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

備考: 日常会話で自然に感じられる文章でお願いします。

日本語

最近あまり楽器の練習をしていません。

日本の通勤電車はとても混みます。

この駅は乗り換えの距離が長い。

英語

These days I haven't been practicing any musical instruments as much.

During rush hours, Japanese trains are more than packed.

We'll have to walk quite a distance to transfer at this station.

レビュー ( 1 )

premiumdotzはこの翻訳結果を"★★★"と評価しました 2013/07/17 13:21:22

元の翻訳
These days I haven't been practicing any musical instruments as much.

During rush hours, Japanese trains are more than packed.

We'll have to walk quite a distance to transfer at this station.

修正後
These days, I haven't been practicing any musical instruments that much.

The trains in Japan are really packed with people.

The distance that we have to travel to transfer to this station is quite long.

I omitted 'during rush hour'. Nothing was mentioned about the rush hour in the original Jap. text.
I replaced 'walk' with 'travel' because travel is more vague and more general, so it's safer to use this word.

[cheekytwat96]

Thanks for the comment. Firstly, i would say it's not a big issue to regard 通勤 as "rush hour" or otherwise, if you think it is best to omit it, i do think an alternative is necessary. Your translation would purely imply that trains in japan , in general, are simply packed all the time. I would not argue that my translation was the best possible, but i would have to disagree with what you have pointed out and suggested.
Furthermore, as for your second point, i do understand what you are trying to say, but again, walking is also no mistake. I am quite sure that if someone is to transfer at a train station, they'd normally travel on foot i.e. walk. Travelling is not a mistake too so i won't say that you're wrong. But i think your argument is subjective and hence it is not an apt reason to censure my work as you seem to have.
Overall, albeit i do appreciate your reviewing and comments, i cannot agree nor am i entirely convinced with your logic for the reasons i have mentioned.