臆病な人間
アンケートの職業欄にはいつも「 会社員 」と書いていた
不動産業と書くことも 自営業と書くことも もちろん代表取締役なんて書くことは絶対なかった
法人であるけども 一人しかいないその法人で代表取締役と名乗ることは恥ずかしいだけだった
親から引き継いだこの仕事に何の自信も持てなかった
美術系の大学を卒業して１年もせずデザイン設計事務所を辞め フリーターをしながらダラダラと生きてた落ちこぼれの僕の実家が
たまたま不動産屋だっただけの話
不動産屋といっても従業員はいないし、社員と言っ
A shy person
I always write company employee' as my occupation in questionnaires.
I absolutely don't write "real estate industry", "own business" and of course "President of the commpany" at all.
It's a corporation but of only 1 person, I would be embarrassed to call myself "President" of this corporation.
I don't have any self-confidence at all in this job that I inherited from my parent.
I graduated from a fine arts university, quit the design office less than a year. Lived a lazy life as a part-timer
My parents occassionally would talk only about the real estate business to me who has fallen behind the world.
Even though it's a real estate office,there are no employees, If they had to say, Mom and Dad were the employees.
ても父と母だけの典型的なパパママストア
その規模でも バブル世代の不動産屋はそれそれはそれで華やかだったみたいだ
職業軍人のおじいさんと父が起死回生で始めた不動産屋は時代とともに急成長した
貧しさを極めた暮らしから 人並み、いやそれ以上の暮らしを体現していくその毎日は高揚の連続だったろう
その当時の写真を見ればよく分かる
古めかしい写真からもその勢いだけは伝わってきたから
当時の僕はといえば 同級生から「 地上げ屋 」と揶揄され、ホントはそうでもないけど「 ボンボン 」とからかわれる毎日
It was your typical mom-and-pop store.
However, even at this scale, real estate brokers born in the Bubble era had a glamorous life.
The real estate business my grandfather who was a career military man and my father started to turn the tables on life, grew with the times.
Every day must have been a continuous high for them, as they experienced their life change from the depths of poverty to average and beyond.
One can easily tell from pictures of that time.
Their energy could be felt from the archaic pictures.
I was poked fun of as a "land shark" by my school mates, and although it wasn't true, I was mocked every day as a "rich kid" as well.
まあ 当時「 地上げ屋 」の意味も分かってないから揶揄されていることさえ気が付かずヘラヘラ 情けなく過ごしてたけどね
僕の才能は「鈍感」ってことだけだった
「鈍感」に救われたと思う。今思えば
不動産業という 父の仕事はよくわからなかったし、興味もなかった
「 怖い業界なのかな？ 」というのは 自宅に併設してあった会社に出入りしていた人を見て何となく感じていた
興味がなかった。というよりは自分には無縁な世界
僕みたいな臆病な人間が務まる仕事とは思えなかった
大した覚悟があったわけじゃない
Well, in those day, because I didn't know the meaning of word "Land shark", I spent a miserable all day even I didn't notice I was made fun of.
My talent was just insensitive.
But to me insensitivity saved my life.
As I didn't know what is my father's business as a real estate, and I wasn't curious about it.
However I thought it was a frightened business ? I just got to know from I used to see guys are entering and exiting the office somehow.
This is another world apart from mine even this didn't interest me.
I didn't think I could manage for such a timid man like me.
It didn't mean that I didn't have enough preparedness.
「 フリーターするんやったら家の仕事でもしたら？ 」と父親に言われて実家にノコノコ帰ってきただけ
そんな愚息に３０年も続けた不動産会社を丸ごと渡すのに不安が無かったんだろうか
壁にかかった宅建の免許証番号を見ながら机におでこを擦りつけた
「もう いいかな・・・」
５年に一度の 宅建免許の更新手続きが随分と面倒に感じた
「 免許更新することに意味なんてあるのかなぁ 」
副業として始めた 輸出転売も 完全に頭打ち
自宅で完結して誰も合わずに始められるビジネスがスケールするはずもない
ノーリスク
"If you're going to be a part-timer, why don't you take on the family business?"
I just came home obediently at my father's words.
I wonder if he had any doubts about handing over his real estate company to his stupid son.
I rubbed my forehead on the desk as I looked up at the real estate broker license number hanging on the wall.
"I think I've had enough..."
The renewal procedure the real estate license that comes around every 5 years felt more burdensome than ever.
"Why should I even renew my license?"
The import-and-resell business that I started as a side business had completely leveled off.
There was no way a business that can complete transactions at home meeting anyone and can be started without meeting anyone, expand in any way.
No risk.
なんてキーワードが頭の片隅にチラつくだけで負け確定なんだと気が付くのに２年もかかった
「 もうすべて放り出して どこかに就職しよう・・・ 」
家族が寝静まった住宅兼事務所で天井を見上げたまま 時間ばかりが過ぎていった
なんかもう 涙もでてこない
今この場所から逃げ出したい
ただ それだけ
「 逃げ出す以外に方法ないだろ？ 」
「 逃げるのも勇気だよ 」
そう思ってた 毎日
朝から晩まで
It took me two years to realize that even contemplating such a keyword was indicating my failure.
"I should just give everything up and apply for a job somewhere..."
Time just ticked away as I looked up at the ceiling of my home-turned-office, now quiet with my family asleep.
Tears didn't flow anymore.
I just wanted to get away from this place.
"There's nothing I can do than to run, right?"
"Walking away is also another form of courage,"
I told myself every day.
From morning till night.
