Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Japanese

ご購入ありがとうございます。
まず、0月0日の娘さんのお誕生日おめでとうございます。
商品のことですが、年末年始のこの時期ですし、日本から（国名）までにも4〜6日かかります。x月x日までに間に合うのは難しいと思いますが大丈夫でしょうか？
私どもはできる限り早く発送するように努力いたしますので、どうぞご理解ください。

English

Thank you very much for your purchase.
First of all, happy birthday to your daughter who was born on (Month) (Day).
As for the matter regarding the product, it will take about 4 to 6 days to deliver from Japan to (Country) during this new year holiday season. I think it will be difficult to make it on time until (Month) (Day) so is this alright?
We will do our best to ship the product as early as possible so we ask for your kind understanding.

Reviews ( 1 )

[deleted user] rated this translation result as ★★★★ 01 Jan 2015 at 03:12

original
Thank you very much for your purchase.
First of all, happy birthday to your daughter who was born on (Month) (Day).
As for the matter regarding the product, it will take about 4 to 6 days to deliver from Japan to (Country) during this new year holiday season. I think it will be difficult to make it on time until (Month) (Day) so is this alright?
We will do our best to ship the product as early as possible so we ask for your kind understanding.

corrected
Thank you very much for your purchase[or "order"].
First of all, let me wish a happy birthday to your daughter on (Month) (Day).
As for the product, this is the yearend [rush] period, *and* ["し"] it [normally] takes 4-6 days from Japan to (Country). I think it will be difficult to make it in time for (Month) (Day), but is this alright?
We will do our best to ship the product as early as possible, so please rest assured that we are doing our utmost.

Unless I am wrong, the writer's use of "し" indicates that he/she is giving two separate reasons/excuses: 1) normally it takes 4-6 days between Japan and that country, and 2) in addition at the moment we are in the middle of the yearend rush.

In English-language business letters it is not normal to include something along the lines of "どうぞご理解ください", so the English will sound better if it does not include that sounds like a plea for understanding.