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Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Rating: 50 / 2 Reviews / 12 Aug 2014 at 12:34

sujiko
sujiko 50 IT、金融などを中心として社内翻訳者を数年経験後、フリーランス翻訳者として...
Japanese

Ａの方法では何らかのエラーにより支払うことができませんでした。
商品代金は銀行から送金致しますので銀行口座番号を教えてください。
宜しくお願い致します。

English

By A, I was unable to pay by some error.
I will transfer the amount for the item from the bank,
so please let me know your account number of the bank.
Thank you.

Reviews ( 2 )

ryojiyono 52 英検1級。 TOEFL623。 TOEIC 975。
ryojiyono rated this translation result as ★★★ 13 Aug 2014 at 12:57

original
By A, I was unable to pay by some error.
I will transfer the amount for the item from the bank,↵
so please let me know your account number of the bank.
Thank you.

corrected
By A, I was unable to pay by some error.
Please let me know your bank account number as I will transfer the amount for the item from the bank.
Thank you.

Soを使用せずにasを使った方が自然だとおもいましたので添削させていただきました。

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chee_madam 52 留学、就労と英語圏で15年生活してまいりました。実務翻訳に従事しています。...
chee_madam rated this translation result as ★★★ 13 Aug 2014 at 13:02

original
By A, I was unable to pay by some error.
I will transfer the amount for the item from the bank,↵
so please let me know your account number of the bank.
Thank you.

corrected
By A, I was unable to pay due to some error.
I will transfer the amount for the item from the bank, so please provide me with your bank account number.
Thank you.

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