翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

備考: ○○には商品名が入ります。

日本語

私は○○を見てとても感動しました。
今まで私が不便に思っていたことを見事に解消してくれる商品だからです。

バッグを2個持つのはとてもつらい作業であった。
私が出した結論はあなた方の動画で出てきたようにぷちぷちにくるんで持ち運ぶ方法だ。
動画をみたときに思わず爆笑してしまいました。
○○はとてもすばらしい商品なので日本でも売れると思います。

是非○○を私が日本に紹介したいと思い連絡しました。

簡単なプロフィールを添付ファイルでつけてありますので見ていただけたら幸いです。

よろしくお願いします。

英語

I was moved by seeing ○○.
Because it is the product that solve what I have been thinking inconvenient.

It is hard work to have two bags.
What I concluded is the way to take things wrapped by bubble pack like you guys.
I bursted out laughing when I saw the movie.
I think ○○ is a so good product that it can be sold quite well.

I got in touch with you because I do want introduce ○○ to Japanese.
I am adding plain self-introduction, so I would appreciate if you look through.

I hope to see more of you.

レビュー ( 1 )

mechamamiはこの翻訳結果を"★★"と評価しました 2014/04/16 00:13:08

元の翻訳
I was moved by seeing ○○.↵
Because it is the product that solve what I have been thinking inconvenient.

It is hard work to have two bags.
What I concluded is the way to take things wrapped by bubble pack like you guys.
I bursted out laughing when I saw the movie.
I think ○○ is a so good product that it can be sold quite well.

I got in touch with you because I do want introduce ○○ to Japanese.
I am adding plain self-introduction, so I would appreciate if you look through.

I hope to see more of you.↵

修正後
I was amazed/impressed by seeing ○○ because it is the product that would solve what I have felt inconvenient for a long time.

It is hard work to carry two bags.
What I concluded is the way to wrap them in bubble pack as you showed on your video.
I bursted out laughing when I watched the movie.
I think ○○ is a very great product that it can be sold quite well in Japan, too.

I am sending this message to you because I would love to introduce ○○ to the Japanese people.
I attached a brief self-introduction and I would appreciate if you could look through it.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

-moved だと、映画などで感動して心が動かされたという意味になり、商品に感心したという意味から少しかけ離れてしまいます。
-becauseは、文法上は文頭には用いません。友人などへのメールや話し言葉ではみんな使いますが、通常formalな文章では気をつけた方がいいかもしれません。
-have two bagsだと、所有するの意味になります。