Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Japanese

商品Aは出荷されましたでしょうか？
私はまだあなたからAWB番号を受け取っていません。

もし既に商品Aが出荷されていたら、AWB番号を私に教えて頂けますでしょうか？
もしまだ商品Aが出荷されていなければ、いつ商品が出荷されるのか教えて頂けますでしょうか？

よろしくお願いいたします。

English

Have you shipped the item A?
I have not received the AWB number from you yet?

If you have shipped the item A, would you please let me know the AWB number?
If you have not, would you tell me when it would be shipped.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Reviews ( 4 )

chee_madam rated this translation result as ★★★★ 26 Aug 2014 at 13:49

original
Have you shipped the item A?
I have not received the AWB number from you yet?

If you have shipped the item A, would you please let me know the AWB number?
If you have not, would you tell me when it would be shipped.

Thank you for your cooperation.

corrected
Has the item A been shipped out already?
I have not received the AWB number from you yet.

If you have shipped the item A, would you please let me know the AWB number?
If you have not, would you tell me when it would be shipped.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Have you shipped the item A?だとちょっとキツイ感じがします。

alstomoko rated this translation result as ★★★★★ 26 Aug 2014 at 17:02

original
Have you shipped the item A?
I have not received the AWB number from you yet?

If you have shipped the item A, would you please let me know the AWB number?
If you have not, would you tell me when it would be shipped.

Thank you for your cooperation.

corrected
Have you shipped the item A?
I have not received the AWB number from you yet.

If you have shipped the item A, would you please let me know the AWB number?
If you have not, would you tell me when it would be shipped.

Thank you for your cooperation.

良い訳だと思います。

dosanko rated this translation result as ★★★★★ 27 Aug 2014 at 02:50

Have you shipped the item A?を、キツイとか言っている人がいますが、「誰が」「何を」したのかは、責任の所在を言及するためには必要です。
他の人に出荷を任せていると相手が判断しない限り、当事者に直接質問するyouのほうがよく、不当に格下げされています。
特に文法的な問題もなく、短時間で訳された文章としては、十分です。

「感じがする」とかいう高飛車で、根拠のない評価で★が1つ下げられことはお気の毒です。

susumu-fukuhara rated this translation result as ★★★★★ 27 Aug 2014 at 10:09

確かに、多種きつい感じはしますが、買う側からのメールと思われるので、これもありでしょう。逆に商品を提供する側は丁寧な言葉で対応しなければなりません。その違いですね。ただビジネスレターであれば多少言葉を和らげるのも必要ですが（取引相手との力関係にもよりますが）、与えられた文面だけではそこまで判断できません。