Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Rating: 58 / Native English / 2 Reviews / 17 Jul 2014 at 09:19

risingsuntranslations
risingsuntranslations 58 Translations with clarity and flair!
Japanese

7/13の配送依頼荷物がまだ発送されていません。
いつもと違い、配送までにかなり時間がかかっているので連絡しました。
どのような状況かすぐに教えてください。
加えて、迅速に発送手続きを進めて下さい。

依頼番号:00-187-3920

English

The item I ordered on July 13 has not yet been shipped.
I am contacting you because delivery is taking a great deal longer than usual.
Please provide information on the status of this shipment immediately.
I also ask that you expedite your shipping procedures.

Order number: 00-187-3920

Reviews ( 2 )

mars16 50 翻訳を始めて、そしてConyacに参加して5年ほどになります(スタンダード...
mars16 rated this translation result as ★★★★ 18 Jul 2014 at 12:14

original
The item I ordered on July 13 has not yet been shipped.
I am contacting you because delivery is taking a great deal longer than usual.
Please provide information on the status of this shipment immediately.
I also ask that you expedite your shipping procedures.

Order number: 00-187-3920

corrected
The item I ordered on July 13 has not yet been shipped.
I am contacting you because delivery is taking a great deal longer than usual.
Please provide information on the status of this shipment immediately.
Further, I am very pleased if you could start your shipping procedures as soon as possible.

Order number: 00-187-3920

最後の文は依頼していることが伝わるのがいいと思います

This review was found appropriate by 100% of translators.

risingsuntranslations risingsuntranslations 19 Jul 2014 at 08:43

Thank you for your review, mars16. Can you please explain your feedback in more detail? I think that "I ask that" is 依頼 form, and "expedite" should already mean "start... as soon as possible". Maybe I am misunderstanding your changes?

susumu-fukuhara susumu-fukuhara 05 Aug 2014 at 23:34

In Business letters expressions like "I would appreciate" or "I am pleased" is preferred particularly by Japanese businesspeople! I know American business people are more direct in asking something.

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big_baby_duck 60 ほぼ、英訳専門ダックです。信頼できる優秀な英訳者、個性的でおもしろい記事を...
big_baby_duck rated this translation result as ★★★★★ 09 Aug 2014 at 19:15

So cool!

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Additional info: 倉庫兼配送業者に送る内容です。