Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Japanese

わかりずらい回答で申し訳ありません。
お伝えしたかったのは以下のとおりです。
・私は新品でタグのついた商品を一つ所有しています。
・希少な商品ですので、早々に在庫切れになることが想定されます。お早目にご注文くださいますよう、ご検討のほどよろしくお願いします。

タイトル:FBAの納品について
私が納品したアマゾンFBA向けの商品について、未だ受領になっていない商品があります。受領されていない商品は、次の商品です。至急調査をしてくださいますようよろしくお願いします。

English

Sorry if my last correspondence was unclear.
What I wanted to write is as follows:
- I have one new and tagged product.
- I assume that this will be soon out of stock as it's some kind of hard-to-find product. You may consider to place an order as soon as possible, not to miss it.

Subject: about delivery status of FBA product.
Regarding the FBA product for Amazon from me, there is still a product that hasn't been received. It is the following. I would appreciate for your immediate investigation on its delivery status. Thank you.

Reviews ( 1 )

gaieios rated this translation result as ★★★★ 25 Jan 2014 at 20:59

original
Sorry if my last correspondence was unclear.
What I wanted to write is as follows:
- I have one new and tagged product.
- I assume that this will be soon out of stock as it's some kind of hard-to-find product. You may consider to place an order as soon as possible, not to miss it.

Subject: about delivery status of FBA product.
Regarding the FBA product for Amazon from me, there is still a product that hasn't been received. It is the following. I would appreciate for your immediate investigation on its delivery status. Thank you.

corrected
Sorry if my last correspondence was unclear.
What I wanted to communicate is as follows:
- I have one new and tagged product.
- As this is a hard-to-find product, stocks are expected to run out soon. Please consider placing an order as soon as possible.

Subject: Delivery status of FBA product
Regarding the FBA product for Amazon from me, there is still a product that hasn't been received. It is as follows. I would appreciate your immediate investigation into its delivery status. Thank you.

[takeshikm]

添削ありがとうございます。今後の参考にさせて頂きます。

[gaieios]

Good translation with only a few minor errors.

• "I assume that this will be soon out of stock...": Removing the "I" and moving the sentence to the passive results in a more businesslike feel to the translation, in keeping with its contents. The passive formation also more closely matches the source text.
• "You may consider to place an order": Grammatically incorrect. The correct form is "You may consider placing an order".
• Email subjects in English do not require a direct translation from the Japanese "について".
• "I would appreciate for your immediate...": Grammatically incorrect. The "for" is unnecessary.
• Investigations are not undertaken "on" a subject - they are undertaken "into".

[takeshikm]

Oh I appreciate your detailed advice. The last two points really caught my eyes... I see lots of example regarding "appreciate for" and "investigation on," therefore I thought it would be alright, but apparently not. Your review helped me correct my misunderstanding. Thank you so much!

[gaieios]

You're welcome. :)

[gaieios]

While we're here: you should also consider the use of the phrasal verb "look into" over "investigate" - the former would sound the most natural to a native English speaker in this context. For instance, "I would appreciate your looking into the status of the delivery." or "I would appreciate it if you could look into the delivery status."

[takeshikm]

Oh I see, that's what unfortunately distinguishes me as non-native English speaker. I understand the meaning of "look into" - synonym for "investigate," but it didn't come to my mind when I translated this text. Nevertheless, I also feel that that phrase is the most natural, reminding myself of conversations with native speakers. I will keep learning English and strive for getting my English more natural! Conyac is really a good space to brush up my English, because I receive helpful reviews from other users like you! :)