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Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Rating: 63 / 1 Review / 17 Nov 2013 at 17:34

paulboland
paulboland 63 My goal is to work as a translator in...
Japanese

こんにちは
インボイスを送っていただきましたが、日本への送料が予想以上に高いため、こちらの米国の住所に配送してください。

すいませんが米国への送料の合計を教えてください。

English

Hello,
We received the invoices. However, the cost of shipping to Japan were more than we expected, so please send them to our address here in America.

Could you please tell us the price of shipping to America?

Reviews ( 1 )

aisucreamsoda 56 I was born and raised in Singapore an...
aisucreamsoda rated this translation result as ★★★★ 17 Nov 2013 at 17:54

original
Hello,
We received the invoices. However, the cost of shipping to Japan were more than we expected, so please send them to our address here in America.

Could you please tell us the price of shipping to America?

corrected
Hello,
We received the invoices. However, the cost of shipping to Japan is higher than we expected, so please send them to our address here in America.

Sorry for the trouble, but could you please tell us the price of shipping to America?

This review was found appropriate by 100% of translators.

paulboland paulboland 17 Nov 2013 at 17:59

Thanks for your advice. I definitely agree I made a mismatch of plural and singular with "cost ... were more," when it should have been either "costs ... were more" or "cost ... was higher." As for the "Sorry for your trouble...," I intentionally left it out because I felt like using an apology before a request in this message wasn't exactly natural. But that could be my personal taste.
Thanks!

aisucreamsoda aisucreamsoda 17 Nov 2013 at 18:07

You're welcome! I see, I personally felt that since it was included in the original message, and since the Japanese are very particular about such formalities, it should perhaps be included.

paulboland paulboland 17 Nov 2013 at 18:43

I'm just curious what you think of that.
I'd also like to know if by looking at the original Japanese, if you feel an "I" is more appropriate than "we" for the voice of the English. To be honest, I wasn't sure.

paulboland paulboland 17 Nov 2013 at 18:44

Ah, that makes sense.

aisucreamsoda aisucreamsoda 17 Nov 2013 at 19:13

From the original Japanese, it's indeed rather hard to tell in this case. I usually use "we" it i can discern that it is being written by someone representing a company, but in this case it's not really discernible, so I'm not very sure either. .

paulboland paulboland 17 Nov 2013 at 21:13

I see. Well, thanks for the input!

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