翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

al62603

渋谷や新宿でセット。

Fam ファム | 新宿歌舞伎町のヘアセット＆カット＆メイク 美容室

Hair Make Studio Dearsは池袋・渋谷にあるヘアーメイクスタジオです。

特別な日じゃなくても可愛くしたい女の子が急増中。
LIVEの日は思いっきり目立ちたいし可愛くしたい。
オシャレな女の子は髪型にも手を抜かない。

英語

al62603

Setting hair in places such as Shibuya and Shinjuku.

Hair Make Studio Dears is hair set, cut and makeup studio in Kabukicho Shinjuku.

The number of girls who want to be cute even if it is not the special day is increasing dramatically.
Girls want to be outstanding and cute on the day of music live.
Fashionable girls do not cut corners on their hair styles.

レビュー ( 1 )

vecosはこの翻訳結果を"★★★"と評価しました 2014/02/11 01:31:52

元の翻訳
al62603

Setting hair in places such as Shibuya and Shinjuku.

Hair Make Studio Dears is hair set, cut and makeup studio in Kabukicho Shinjuku.

The number of girls who want to be cute even if it is not the special day is increasing dramatically.
Girls want to be outstanding and cute on the day of music live.
Fashionable girls do not cut corners on their hair styles.

修正後
al62603

Setting hair in places such as Shibuya and Shinjuku.
[Get your hair set in Shibuya and Shinjuku.]↵

[Fam (ファム) | Hair and makeup salon in Kabukicho, Shinjuku]↵
↵
Hair Make Studio Dears is [a] hair and makeup studio [with outlets in Ikebukuro and Shibuya].

The number of girls who want to be cute even if it [it's not a special occasion] is increasing dramatically.
↵
Girls want to be outstanding and cute on the day of music live.
[When it's time to go live, every girl wants their cuteness to stand out --]↵
Fashionable girls do not cut corners on their hair styles.↵
[when it comes to fashion, you can't afford to neglect your hairstyle!]

The translation sounds somewhat unnatural in parts, especially the line "on the day of music live"; the place names also look like they got a bit messed up. I tried to capture the mood better in the edits above (in square brackets)

[emiinamerica]

Thank you for correcting. Your translation is more natural.
About "music live", I was thinking that "live" itself can mean many other things in English.
I mean, in Japan, ライブmeans concert, but "live" in English can mean other things.
This is why I put "music" in there ( I know that it's still ackward tho).
Maybe I should have just wrote "concert"..

[vecos]

Hi emiinamerica,
That's true, it's always difficult to do a good translation without sufficient context -- I kept the word 'live' and tried to keep the meaning more general for the exact same reasons.
Also, re-reading my comments made me realise they might have been a bit strong; I hope you weren't offended by them!