翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

ph35306

▼俳句って？
俳句とは、五・七・五の三句十七音から成る、日本独自の定型詩の事を指し,「季語」と呼ばれる季節を表す言葉を含まなければならないというルールがあります。「俳諧〔はいかい〕の句」という言葉が略されて、「俳句」と呼ばれるようになりました。

▼もともとは『うた組み575』というゲーム

英語

ph35306

▼ What is haiku?
A haiku, there is a rule refers consist of 17 ”on” (17 hiraganas) in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 "on" respectively. It is unique japanese poetry with a fixed form. It must contain a "kigo" to imply the season. The term "haiku" is abbreviated "Haikainoku". It was named "Haiku" for "Haikainoku".

▼Originally, it is a game called "Utakumi 575".

レビュー ( 1 )

gaieiosはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2014/01/25 13:24:49

元の翻訳
ph35306

▼ What is haiku?
A haiku, there is a rule refers consist of 17 ”on” (17 hiraganas) in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 "on" respectively. It is unique japanese poetry with a fixed form. It must contain a "kigo" to imply the season. The term "haiku" is abbreviated "Haikainoku". It was named "Haiku" for "Haikainoku".

▼Originally, it is a game called "Utakumi 575".

修正後
ph35306

▼ What is haiku?
A haiku is a poem formed from 17 ”on” (17 hiragana syllables) in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 "on" respectively. It is a form of fixed form poetry unique to Japan. It must contain a "kigo" - a word implying a particular season. Originally "haikainoku"; later shortened to "haiku".

▼Originally, it is a game called "Utakumi 575".

[gaieios]

Good translation with only minor mistakes!

• "there is a rule refers consist of" is not grammatical. In this case, the rules refer to both the syllable count AND the kigo requirement; since the entire sentence is a definition of what a haiku is, there is no longer a need to directly mention the word "rule". A native English speaker would treat the definition sentence as fact.
• Usage of "unique": to stay grammatical, you need some prepositions. "It is unique to Japan" or "It is a unique type/form of" are grammatical, but "It is unique Japanese poetry" is not.
• Your last two sentences describing the haiku exhibit redundancy. Consider shortening to that provided above.