翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

備考: 自己紹介です。自分で書いたものに自信をつけたいので、お願いします。簡単な言い回しだと助かります。

日本語

X大学のX学部を卒業しました。自由に大学内の授業を取れる学部でした。主に政治学や歴史学を勉強しました。テコンドー部に所属し、赤帯を取得しています。
大学卒業後、銀行で経済アシスタントを1年間していました。宿泊施設の観光調査を担当していました。その後アップルストアで、セールススタッフを1年間していました。MacやiPadの販売などをしていました。
今までの仕事で学んだことは、取引先やお客様の話をよく聞いて、相手の求めることを察することです。経験を活かし御社で力を発揮したいです。

英語

I graduated from Department X of University X. It was an undergraduate program that allows taking courses within the university as you please. I majored in political science and history. I am also a member of Taekwondo club, holding red belt.
After graduation from university, I worked as financial assistant at a bank for about 1 year. My duties involved lodging establishment and excursion surveys. Later I worked for about 1 year as marketer in an Apple store. My job involved promoting sales of Mac and iPad and so on.
I learned from the jobs I have taken so far how to listen to customers or clients and pick up what my partners look for. I want to prove my competencies, putting my experience to good use at your company.

レビュー ( 1 )

ekcoはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2014/01/11 04:04:03

元の翻訳
I graduated from Department X of University X. It was an undergraduate program that allows taking courses within the university as you please. I majored in political science and history. I am also a member of Taekwondo club, holding red belt.
After graduation from university, I worked as financial assistant at a bank for about 1 year. My duties involved lodging establishment and excursion surveys. Later I worked for about 1 year as marketer in an Apple store. My job involved promoting sales of Mac and iPad and so on.
I learned from the jobs I have taken so far how to listen to customers or clients and pick up what my partners look for. I want to prove my competencies, putting my experience to good use at your company.

修正後
I graduated from Department X of University X. It was an undergraduate program that allows taking courses within the university as you please. I majored in political science and history. I am also a member of Taekwondo club, holding red belt.
After graduation from university, I worked as financial assistant at a bank for about 1 year. My duties involved lodging establishment and excursion surveys. Later I worked for about 1 year as marketer in an Apple store. My job involved promoting sales of Mac and iPad and so on.
I learned from the jobs I have taken so far how to listen to customers or clients and pick up what my partners look for. I want to prove my competence, putting my experience to good use at your company.

"competence" is an uncountable noun and "competencies" has a different meaning. But over all I liked it.