翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

ebayでは、大変お世話になりました。あなたのお心遣いに私は感動しました！本当に心から感謝申し上げます。お写真のお人形につきまして、もし、フロリダの住所へ送ってもらった場合、フロリダまでの送料込みで、450アメリカドルで作って頂くことは可能でしょうか？いつものように、ピンクの衣装、磁気おしゃぶり、濃い茶色の髪、完成後のお写真をお願い致します！良いお返事をお待ち致しております。あなたのお人形は大好きです！

英語

Thank you for your hospitality on ebay. Your thoughtfulness really touched my heart!! I am thankful from the bottom of my heart. Is it possible for you to make the doll on the picture in US$450, including delivery to my address in Florida? I would like pink clothes,magnetic pacifier, dark brunette hair and the finished photo as usual! I am looking forward to hearing from you. I adore your dolls!

レビュー ( 1 )

psychonyakuはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2013/10/25 00:50:47

元の翻訳
Thank you for your hospitality on ebay. Your thoughtfulness really touched my heart!! I am thankful from the bottom of my heart. Is it possible for you to make the doll on the picture in US$450, including delivery to my address in Florida? I would like pink clothes,magnetic pacifier, dark brunette hair and the finished photo as usual! I am looking forward to hearing from you. I adore your dolls!

修正後
All of your help on Ebay is greatly appreciated. I was moved by the degree of care and consideration, and am truly thankful. I was wondering about the doll pictured; if I were to send it to my address in Florida, could it be made for the price of $450USD including shipping and handling? As usual, I would like the pink garments, magnetic pacifier, dark brown hair and a picture of the finished doll please. I am anxiously awaiting your response. Your dolls are absolutely my favorite.↵
↵

I think the translation is very good, but I would change a few minor stylistic details. Furthermore, we can consolidate sentences into one when it would save redundancy. In the beginning, the word hospitality feels a bit unnatural to me when referring to help on an online store. Thoughtfulness is not really the word I would choose in the second sentence since it brings connotations of doing a favor, since she is referring to help that he or she received, care and consideration is safer to use. You could say touched my heart, but that sounds unnecessarily romantic to me, moved (emotionally) is a safer option. The Japanese literally says from the bottom of my heart, but that may sound a little cheesy in modern English. The sentence requesting the doll was in need of the most work since the way you translated it may cause misunderstanding. The last two sentences are just alternatives and are a bit more neutral than the one's you chose.

[ayaka_maruyama]

Thanks for the comment, it really helps to know the alternatives. I think your translation is amazing!! Stylistically, though, I always opt for a more literal translation because you can't really discuss this with your clients here. I just feel like it's safer not to change things too much. Sometimes when the clients specifically ask for a more natural translation, then I feel like I have more freedom to be creative.... But it's difficult!!

[psychonyaku]

I am glad my comments were helpful to you.