翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

都会に住む私が、はじめて山に登った朝、途中で出会うハイカーたちがみな「こんにちは」と声をかけてくれるので、こちらもためらいながら「こんにちは」とあいさつを返しました。その時、今まで忘れていた何かを取り戻したような嬉しさを感じました。

英語

As someone who lives in the city, I hesitantly said "hello" back to the hikers when they crossed paths with me and said "hello" to me, on the morning of my first hiking. It made me feel the joy of regaining something that had been lost.

レビュー ( 1 )

psychonyakuはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2013/10/25 01:06:26

元の翻訳
As someone who lives in the city, I hesitantly said "hello" back to the hikers when they crossed paths with me and said "hello" to me, on the morning of my first hiking. It made me feel the joy of regaining something that had been lost.

修正後
On the morning of my first hike up the mountain, hesitantly returning the hellos of all the hikers I came across on the way brought back the joy of regaining something that had been forgotten up till now for someone like me who lives in the city.

I admire your translation. This is a very tricky passage to translate because of how its worded. It may be best to consolidate the whole idea into one sentence.

[ayaka_maruyama]

Again, thank you for an amazing alternative!! I found this very tricky too, and my first thought was to combine everything into one sentence... but I just wanted to preserve as much of the original structure as possible.

[psychonyaku]

The difficulty with Japanese is the fact that it will sound more natural as two sentences. In English everything has to be rearranged to make it sound right. As translators, our job is to arrange it beautifully in each language. We can still keep the passage faithful while altering the structure to a more natural one.