翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

古い手順で作業を実施した時の作業時間と新しい手順で作業を実施した時の作業時間を比較したグラフです
一年前は削減率が30%でしたが、現在は約40%の削減効果が出ております。
新たな試みとして、外観検査についても同じ手順で削減を行いました
この製品は、慢性的な問題が続いていましたが、複数回の電話会議を行い、設計変更を行いました
検査が不要となり検査数が大幅に減少し ています
問題が発生した時,検査の要否は製造元に確認してから検査の要否を判断します

英語

This chart shows comparison of the work time between the old and new procedures.
A year ago, the reduction was 30%, whereas it has been reduced by 40% to date.
As for a new trial, we reduced work time of exterior checking without changing the procedure.
This product has had a chronic problem. We have changed the design after several meetings on the phone. This eliminates checkings and has contributed to much fewer checkings.
Should a problem occure, we will confirm with the manufacturer if any checking is necessary.

レビュー ( 1 )

tokyomanlyはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2013/08/07 09:58:59

元の翻訳
This chart shows comparison of the work time between the old and new procedures.
A year ago, the reduction was 30%, whereas it has been reduced by 40% to date.
As for a new trial, we reduced work time of exterior checking without changing the procedure.
This product has had a chronic problem. We have changed the design after several meetings on the phone. This eliminates checkings and has contributed to much fewer checkings.
Should a problem occure, we will confirm with the manufacturer if any checking is necessary.

修正後
This chart shows a comparison of the work time involved between the old and new procedures.
A year ago, the reduction was 30%, whereas it has been reduced by 40% to date.
Regarding the new trial, we reduced the work time of exterior checking without changing the procedure.
A chronic problem has continued for this product. We have changed the design after several conference calls. This eliminates checking and has contributed to much fewer checks.
Should a problem occur, we will confirm with the manufacturer if any checking is necessary.

A few minor things to make it more natural, but generally good work. Please also use just one space after a period.

[14pon]

ありがとうございます。！
いや、もうお一方のを見て、こりゃだめだ、と思っていました。なんだか、言葉が少なすぎるような気がして、恥ずかしくて引っ込めたいほどでしたが、それほどだめでもなかったみたいですね。
「慢性的問題」のところは勉強になります。
時に、ピリオドの後ろのスペースは１つなんですか？私は３０年ぐらい前にタイプを勉強した時から、ずっと、２つと認識しているのですが・・・

[tokyomanly]

Yes, the double-space is a holdover from the typewriter and ワプロ時代。It's commonly used by people over age 30. (I also used to double-space my papers when I was a student.) It's no longer necessary and just takes up extra space.
Despite that, your translation is much better than some of the higher-ranked J-E translators.

[14pon]

people over age 30 ですか！　ばれましたね。way over 30 です。
最後の一言、うれしくて涙が出そうです。私も、そろそろ「６０」には飽きてきたところなんです。このところ、ネイティブさんや「６５」のnon-nativeさんたちから、立て続けに「星４つ」「星５つ」をいただいているのですが、どうしても「６０」から上がりません。つい昨日、Conyacにもそれを伝えたところです。英→日は「６３」の私が「５０」の方に「星５つ」を上げたら、その瞬間にその方は「５４」になりましたが、私は動きません・・・