Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Rating: 50 / 1 Review / 20 Jul 2014 at 11:35

dorajen
dorajen 50
Japanese

★開催日時:8月2日(土)11:00~22:30
★場所:みなとのもり公園(神戸震災復興記念公園)内特設ステージ

★会場所在地:神戸市中央区小野浜町
★入場:無料
★出演:いときん(ET-KING/OSAKA ROOTS)
ガガガSP、Da-iCE、SOLIDEMO、星村麻衣、7942、
KOBerrieS♪他
★司会:コシバKEN(ET-KING)、榎木麻衣(サンテレビアナウンサー)他

English

★Time of the event: August 2 (Sat) 11:00 am-10:30 pm
★Location: Specially setted up stage at Minatonomori Pack (Kobe Shinsaifukko Memorial Park)
★Address: Onohamacho, Chuo Ward, Kobe City
★Entrance Fee: Free
★Performer: Itokin (ET-KING/OSAKA ROOTS)
Gagaga SP, Da-iCE, SOLIDEMO, Mai Hoshimura, 7942, KOBerrieS♪, etc.
★Presenter: KoshibaKEN (ET-KING), Mai Enoki (Announcer of San TV), etc.

Reviews ( 1 )

risingsuntranslations 58 Translations with clarity and flair!
risingsuntranslations rated this translation result as ★★★★ 22 Jul 2014 at 08:10

original
★Time of the event: August 2 (Sat) 11:00 am-10:30 pm
★Location: Specially setted up stage at Minatonomori Pack (Kobe Shinsaifukko Memorial Park)
★Address: Onohamacho, Chuo Ward, Kobe City
★Entrance Fee: Free
★Performer: Itokin (ET-KING/OSAKA ROOTS)
Gagaga SP, Da-iCE, SOLIDEMO, Mai Hoshimura, 7942, KOBerrieS♪, etc.
★Presenter: KoshibaKEN (ET-KING), Mai Enoki (Announcer of San TV), etc.

corrected
★When: August 2 (Sat) 11:00 am–10:30 pm
★Location: Special stage at Minatonomori Park (Kobe Shinsaifukko Memorial Park)
★Address: Onohama-cho, Chuo-ku, Kobe City
★Entrance Fee: Free
★Performers: Itokin (ET-KING/OSAKA ROOTS)
Gagaga SP, Da-iCE, SOLIDEMO, Mai Hoshimura, 7942, KOBerrieS♪, and others
★Presenters: KoshibaKEN (ET-KING), Mai Enoki (San TV announcer), and others

Good job in general! A few minor details:
(1) "When" or "Date/time" is better than "time" if a day is given
(2) Ranges of numbers take an N-dash, not a hyphen
(3) Either "Ward" or "ku" is OK, but since you used "cho" I thought "ku" was more consistent. These should typically be hyphenated.
(4) In most cases "etc." should be avoided in general translations (mostly used for academic or scientific papers).

Nice work overall!

dorajen dorajen 22 Jul 2014 at 10:25

Thank you for your comment! I will keep that in mind and work on different phrasings!

Add Comment
Additional info: アーティスト名は「SOLIDEMO」に統一下さい。
全角文字は半角文字に置き換えてください。