Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Additional info: ebayから出品制限解除の連絡に対するお礼のメールを送ります。
よろしくお願いいたします。

Japanese

ご連絡およびアカウントの復活ありがとうございます。
私は再びebayで商品を売る機会を得ることを嬉しく思います。

この機会に御社よりいただいたアドバイスを良く守り、バイヤー
にも満足していただくことによって私のビジネスを成功させて、
御社と共に末永い繁栄を築いていきたいと思います。

今後ともご指導、ご鞭撻のほど、よろしくお願い申し上げます。

English

Thank you for your contact and reactivating my account.
I am really glad that I can sell at ebay once again.

I'd like to make good use of this advice from you only to satisfy my buyers and make my business prosper as well as yours.

I will always appreciate your advice.

Regards,

Reviews ( 1 )

jasmine_66 rated this translation result as ★★★ 17 Oct 2013 at 11:53

original
Thank you for your contact and reactivating my account.
I am really glad that I can sell at ebay once again.

I'd like to make good use of this advice from you only to satisfy my buyers and make my business prosper as well as yours.

I will always appreciate your advice.

Regards,

corrected
Thank you for your contact and reactivating my account.
I am really glad that I can sell my products on eBay again.

I would like to make good use of this piece of advice from you, strive to satisfy my buyers and prosper my business as well as yours.

I will always appreciate your advice and encouragement.

Best Regards,

[[deleted user]]

At some points, I think your revision is better but for most of what you pointed out I don't.
For example,
"sell at eBay" -> In this case, you don't necessarily need any object since what you sell doesn't matter here. (X)
I'd like to -> I admit that my way of saying was a bit casual. (O)
this advice -> This is ABSOLUTELY the same to "this piece of advice"! (You don't say like "this piece of advice" unless you want to emphasize the number) (X)
only to -> Do you even know what "only to" means? It functions as a conjunction like "so that..." (X)
make my business prosper -> DEFINITELY same to "prosper my business" (prosper is mainly used as an intransitive verb.) (X)
your advice and encouragement. -> I think yours is better. (O)
Best Regards, -> Totally, the SAME! (X)
On the basis above, I think your review is improper. If you still have anything to share with me, I will be very pleased.

[jasmine_66]

Thank you for your comment.
I agree with you on "this advice" and "make my business prosper", but there are some points I can't agree with you either. When it refers to offering for sale, as for one's business or livelihood, "sell" is a v.tr. Here is the reference : http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sell
Though "only to" can function as a conjunction, it does NOT function as "so that".
Originally "only" itself can serve as a conjunction and its meaning is close to however and yet. Its function is to express a contrast in two sentences.
Here is the reference: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/only
And it says: only - with nevertheless the final result; "He arrived only to find his wife dead"; "We won only to lose again in the next round"
From this two example sentences, I can see the sentences after "only to" means something negative. How does "only to" function as the same as "so that"?

[jasmine_66]

And when it comes to written English, I believe it is better to write "Best Regards" than "Regards".
If you have any other comments, I will be looking forward to it.
Thank you.