Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Additional info: なるべくword数を多めにお願いします。

Japanese

私の英語を学ぶ目的は社会企業家として“世界をつなぐ仕事”がしたいと思ったからです。
私がそう思ったきっかけは一つの日本人がつくったビスネスモデルからでした。
日本を含む先進国の一つの問題として食べ過ぎによる肥満や生活習慣病に悩む人がいれば、反対にアフリカなどの開発途上国では食料不足による飢餓の問題があります。
これらの問題を同時に解決するしくみとして社員食堂を持つ企業や団体と提携し通常より低カロリーで栄養バランスのとれた特別メニューを作ってもらい
20円上乗せした金額で提供されます。

English

The reason why I am learning English is that I would like to be a social entrepreneur and work to connect the world,
A business model which was created by Japanese was a catalyst for me.

As an advanced county, we have a lot of people suffer from obesity and lifestyle disease as a result of over eating in Japan.
On the other hand, developing countries like most of African countries, they suffer from starvation from food shortages.

As a system to solve these extreme problems (situations) at the same time, partner with companies and organizations which have cafeterias in site to provide meals with lower calories and rich in nutrition, and serve for 20yen on top of the basic meals.

Reviews ( 1 )

googlybear rated this translation result as ★★★★ 11 Aug 2013 at 16:57

original
The reason why I am learning English is that I would like to be a social entrepreneur and work to connect the world,
A business model which was created by Japanese was a catalyst for me.

As an advanced county, we have a lot of people suffer from obesity and lifestyle disease as a result of over eating in Japan.
On the other hand, developing countries like most of African countries, they suffer from starvation from food shortages.

As a system to solve these extreme problems (situations) at the same time, partner with companies and organizations which have cafeterias in site to provide meals with lower calories and rich in nutrition, and serve for 20yen on top of the basic meals. ↵
↵

corrected
The reason why I am learning English is that I would like to be a social entrepreneur and work to connect the world,
A business model which was created by Japanese was the catalyst for me.

As an advanced county, we have a lot of people suffer from obesity and lifestyle disease as a result of over eating in Japan.
On the other hand, developing countries like most of African countries, they suffer from starvation from food shortages.

As a system to simultaneously solve these extreme problems (situations), I have partnered with companies and organizations that have cafeterias in site to provide meals with lower calories and rich in nutrition, and serve for 20yen on top of the basic meals.

Thanks! I learned something from this translation.

[honeylemon003]

校正と評価ありがとうございました。