camomile27 — もらったレビュー

元の翻訳
The best experience in London
I took the ticket of a musical, which had good reputations, because I wanted to see it while I was in London.
I believe it was the best experience in the 3 days.
This 'Phantom of the Opera' was spectacular. The stage set was well-equipped since many long-run plays have been out in the theater.
That's why it can produce such dynamism and it was absolutely mind-blowing.
In addition to that, the colorful and fantastical direction were so beautiful that I couldn't help but sigh, and the actors were splendid.
Considering all together, it was a genuinely beautiful 'piece'.

修正後
The best experience in London
I got a ticket for a musical, which had good reputations, because I wanted to see it while I was in London.
I believe it was the best experience in the 3 days.
This 'Phantom of the Opera' was spectacular. The stage set was well-equipped since many long-run plays have been out in the theater.
That's why it can produce such dynamism and it was absolutely mind-blowing.
In addition to that, the colorful and fantastical staging was so beautiful that I couldn't help but sigh, and the actors were splendid.
Considering all together, it was a genuinely beautiful 'piece'.

元の翻訳
For more information, please contact us by e-mail.

修正後
For more information, please contact us by an e-mail.

元の翻訳
Thank you very much for your response.
But a lot of our shops have not been ready for the price change yet.
I will make a list of the shops below, so please make sure to check it.
If there is anything we can do to support you, please let us know.

Gotoyan: http://goo.gl/mI3hDj
Store Operation Manager: Yoshimitsu Goto

修正後
Thank you very much for your correspondence.
But a lot of our shops have not changed the price yet.
I will make a list of the shops below, so please make sure to check it.
If there is anything we can do to support you, please let us know.

Gotoyan: http://goo.gl/mI3hDj
Store Operation Manager: Yoshimitsu Goto

元の翻訳
4.デスクワークに救済を
長時間の座り仕事は、身体に様々な悪影響を及ぼすことが科学的に明らかになっている。その証拠に、ワシントン・ポストは最近、椅子に長い間もたれかかっていると起きる問題の数々をリストに集約した。そのうちのいくつかに、心臓病、肩こり、筋力の低下、そして脚の血行不良などが挙げられる。特に座り続けることで発生する痛みは仕事の生産性を急激に落としてしまうのだ。

修正後
4.デスクワークに救済を
長時間座ったままでいることが、身体に様々な悪影響を及ぼすことが科学的に明らかになっている。実際（に）、Washington Post紙は最近、椅子に長時間座り続けた場合に生じる（様々な）問題点（or障害）についてリストにまとめた。次のような例が挙げられている。心臓病、肩こり、筋力の低下、そして脚の血行不良などである。特に（長時間）座り続けることで引き起こされる痛みは、仕事の生産性を急激に落としてしまうのだ。