翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

評価: 50 / 1 Review / 2018/01/11 15:53:47

sujiko
sujiko 50 IT、金融などを中心として社内翻訳者を数年経験後、フリーランス翻訳者として...
日本語

Jatcoからアポイントの依頼連絡があります。
スケジュールを確認してアポイントの設定をしてもよろしいでしょうか?

英語

I receive a message about requesting the appointment from Jatco.
May I check the schedule and set an appointment?

レビュー ( 1 )

[削除済みユーザ] 53
[削除済みユーザ]はこの翻訳結果を"★★"と評価しました 2018/01/11 16:13:08

元の翻訳
I receive a message about requesting the appointment from Jatco.
May I check the schedule and set an appointment?

修正後
I received a message from Jatco requesting an appointment .
May I check the schedule and set an appointment?

Please be careful with the tense: receive > received
"Message about requesting" doesn't sound natural and can even shift the meaning. It can mean that Jatco is asking a question about the procedure of making an appointment.
Lastly, you should put the subject and verb as close as possible. If you put "from Jatco" after "appointment," the reader might get confused with what Jatco is doing here.

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