翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

評価: 50 / 1 Review / 2014/02/06 09:49:52

sujiko
sujiko 50 IT、金融などを中心として社内翻訳者を数年経験後、フリーランス翻訳者として...
日本語

担当者様
前メールで商品を3つに分けて発送をお願いしましたが
通常通りまとめて一度に送っていただいて結構です
お手数をかけて、ごめんなさい
次回の購入と商品の到着を楽しみにしています

・同じ商品を○○個購入すれば○○パーセント値引きできますか
 可能なら、私たちは定期的に購入します

・安く購入したいんです、そのためにまとめて購入します
 貴方からこの商品を○○ドル購入したら可能ですか

・私は英語が上手くありません
 私の英語が正確に伝わり誤解が生じない様に願っています

英語

To person who is in charge

I asked you to send the products by dividing into 3 in last e-mail, but
you can them together as we usually do.
I am sorry to give you much work.
I am looking forward to purchasing next time and arrival of the products.

How many products should we purchase the same product that you can give us ○○ percent discount?
If possible, we will purchase it continuously.

We want to purchase it at low price.For this purpose, we will purchase by lump-sum.
Is it possible if we purchase this product from you at ○○dollars?

I am not good at English.
I hope that I can make my message across you where you do not misunderstand me.

レビュー ( 1 )

chee_madam 52 留学、就労と英語圏で15年生活してまいりました。実務翻訳に従事しています。...
chee_madamはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2014/02/06 15:09:04

元の翻訳
To person who is in charge

I asked you to send the products by dividing into 3 in last e-mail, but
you can them together as we usually do.
I am sorry to give you much work.
I am looking forward to purchasing next time and arrival of the products.

How many products should we purchase the same product that you can give us ○○ percent discount?
If possible, we will purchase it continuously.

We want to purchase it at low price.For this purpose, we will purchase by lump-sum.
Is it possible if we purchase this product from you at ○○dollars?

I am not good at English.
I hope that I can make my message across you where you do not misunderstand me.

修正後
To whom it may concern

I asked you to send the products by dividing them into 3 in last e-mail, but
you put them together in one box as we usually do.
I am sorry to give you much work.
I am looking forward to purchasing next time and arrival of the products.

How many products should we purchase the same product that you can give us ○○ percent discount?
If possible, we will purchase it continuously.

We want to purchase it at low price.For this purpose, we will purchase by lump-sum.
Is it possible if we purchase this product from you at ○○dollars?

I am not good at English.
I hope that I can get my message across so that there won't be any miscommunication between us.

ご担当者さまについては、担当者というコンセプトは英語では日本語とまったくちがうようなので、To whom it may concernでよいかと思います。

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備考: ○○は数量