翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

備考:

Raw Text: 先日、生産年齢人口（15〜64歳）が8000万人を割ったという報道がありましたが、日本国内の労働力人口は今後絶対数が減っていく、そうなれば人材の流動化は不可欠です。

日本語

先日、生産年齢人口（15〜64歳）が8000万人を割ったという報道がありましたが、日本国内の労働力人口は今後絶対数が減っていく、そうなれば人材の流動化は不可欠です。

英語

There was the news to say that productive population(from 15 to 64 years old) fell down 80 million the other day. As for the labor force in Japan, the absolute number will decrease in future. If it becomes so, the fluidity of the talented person is indispensable.

レビュー ( 1 )

cactuar_tamerはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★★"と評価しました 2014/02/06 18:00:28

元の翻訳
There was the news to say that productive population(from 15 to 64 years old) fell down 80 million the other day. As for the labor force in Japan, the absolute number will decrease in future. If it becomes so, the fluidity of the talented person is indispensable.

修正後
There was a news report the other day which said that productive population (those from 15 to 64 years old) fell by 80 million. As for the labor force in Japan, the absolute number will decrease in future. If so, the fluidity of the labor pool will become indispensable.

'the news' (with definite article 'the') is a bit odd if you are commenting on just one news story happening. For just one, 'a' news story, or 'a' news report is better.

'fell' already implies the amount going down, so writing 'down' is not necessary here.