翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

2020年東京オリンピック・パラリンピック開催決定の追い風を受け、9月に入り開催規模4,000人以上の大型国際会議が、東京２件・京都1件と日本開催が続々と決定している。

日本政府観光局は多くの会議の誘致が成功した理由として、主催者、学協会、産業界、自治体等関係者が一致団結し、国を挙げての誘致活動が評価されたことなどを挙げている。
またJNTOは、誘致活動に際して、観光庁と連携し、内閣総理大臣、JNTO理事などの招請状の発出や国際本部の有力決定権者の日本視察などを支援を行なっている

英語

I receive a fair wind of the Tokyo Olympics Paralympics held decision in 2020, and I enter in September, and Tokyo two, one Kyoto and Japan holding are decided one after another large size international conferences more than 4,000 holding scales.

As the reason why the invitation of many meetings succeeded, the people concerned such as a sponsor, association of study, industry, the local government get united, and the Japanese Government sightseeing station raises that national invitation activity was evaluated.
In addition, JNTO supports Japan inspection of the influential decision incarnation of a procession and the International Headquarters of the letter of invitation such as the Prime Minister, the Director of JNTO on the occasion of invitation activity in cooperation with Japan Tourism Agency

レビュー ( 1 )

kanakotokはこの翻訳結果を"★"と評価しました 2013/10/29 17:16:53

元の翻訳
I receive a fair wind of the Tokyo Olympics Paralympics held decision in 2020, and I enter in September, and Tokyo two, one Kyoto and Japan holding are decided one after another large size international conferences more than 4,000 holding scales.

As the reason why the invitation of many meetings succeeded, the people concerned such as a sponsor, association of study, industry, the local government get united, and the Japanese Government sightseeing station raises that national invitation activity was evaluated.
In addition, JNTO supports Japan inspection of the influential decision incarnation of a procession and the International Headquarters of the letter of invitation such as the Prime Minister, the Director of JNTO on the occasion of invitation activity in cooperation with Japan Tourism Agency

修正後
Entering September, encouraged by a favorable wind upon Tokyo Olympics Paralympics held in 2020, huge international conferences with more than 4,000 people are continuously set in Japan like two in Tokyo and one in Kyoto.

As the reason why the invitation for many meetings succeeded is that the fact of united cooperation of the people concerned such as sponsor, association of study, industry, and the local government have been evaluated, the Japanese Government sightseeing station explains.
In addition, JNTO supports the inspection of Japan by a influencial person on making decisions in United Nations and publishing official letter of invitation from the Prime Minister and the Director of JNTO in accordance with the Japan Tourism Agency.

ニュース記事なので、主語のIは出てきません。これによって第一段落が非常に分かりづらくなっています。
また、文章を理解してシンプルに出来れば更に分かりやすく、英文としてGoodかと思います。