Translator Reviews ( Japanese → English )

Japanese

添付ファイルのオーダー内容で生産するように、工場に連絡して下さい。
前回のオーダーはキャンセルして、修正した添付ファイルのオーダー内容で
工場に在庫状況を確認お願い致します。また、在庫がある商品の卸価格の確認もお願い
致します。本日は、国民の休日になるので、商品代金のお支払いは、明日必ずします。
商品代金が支払った後に、出荷予定の商品が欠品したので、返品手数料は、あなたの方で負担して頂けませんでしょうか。

English

Please inform the factory to manufacture as indicated in the attached order sheet.
Please make sure to cancel the previously sent order sheet, and proceed with this corrected one in the attachment.
Please check the inventory at the factory, and inform us the wholesaler price for those you have stock.
As it is national holiday, we will make sure to remit the payment tomorrow.
As it is the case that the item has become out stock after my payment, I would appreciate that you could consider bearing the cost for returning the items.

Reviews ( 1 )

ricko rated this translation result as ★★★★ 04 Jun 2014 at 15:20

original
Please inform the factory to manufacture as indicated in the attached order sheet.
Please make sure to cancel the previously sent order sheet, and proceed with this corrected one in the attachment.
Please check the inventory at the factory, and inform us the wholesaler price for those you have stock.
As it is national holiday, we will make sure to remit the payment tomorrow.
As it is the case that the item has become out stock after my payment, I would appreciate that you could consider bearing the cost for returning the items.

corrected
Please inform the factory to manufacture as indicated in the attached order sheet.
Make sure to cancel the previous order sheet, and proceed with the correct order on attached file.
And also please be sure of the factory's inventory, and inform us the wholesaler price with your stock.
Since today is national holiday today, we will make sure to remit the payment tomorrow.
As in this case, we found out that the item was out stock after my payment, I believe it's reasonable for you to pay for the shipping fee for sending back the products .Thank you.

PleaseやAs it isが文頭に何度も繰り返し出てくる点が若干不自然なので、文末、文頭に変化をつけると尚良いでしょう。

[ryojiyono]

ご指摘ありがとうございます。基本的に文頭がAndで始まることはビジネス文書では避けております。命令形で始まるのも無礼となるので、Please もしくはAsと that節を使用します。その他のAsの使用方法は同じAsで始まりですが文法は異なります。以上のような理由で一目では同じようなな文頭で始まることになりますが、ことビジネス英語においてはフォーマットをしっかりと守り、カジュアルにならないことも重要であるということを考慮しています。