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The word convoluted does no justice to just how poorly designed "Girl on a Bicycle" is. It is also stereotypical, unfunny, unromantic, absurd, sitcomish, insulting to several European ethnicities and a slave to what Roger Ebert used to call "The Idiot Plot Syndrome." It may be the worst romantic comedy I have ever seen, and this is not hyperbole. Usually, I like to go into movies with as little knowledge of their content as possible. Had I done my homework, none of the characteristics of "Girl on a Bicycle" would have surprised me. It's written and directed by Jeremy Leven, who wrote such cinematic cannon fodder as "Don Juan De Marco," "Alex and Emma," and "The Legend of Bagger Vance." You need a suspension of disbelief the size of Jupiter to buy what this guy's been selling, but even if you possess that admirable quality, it won't help you get through "Girl on a Bicycle."
Each character is reduced to the most common stereotype of their country. German Greta is a meticulous control freak who rules her airplane with an iron fist. She's so controlling she directs Vincenzo's marriage proposal. Brit Derek is an agreeable bloke who likes to drink and is polite even when being yanked off Cecile during sex by Vincenzo. Italian Vincenzo is a snob who thinks Italy is better than any other country.