翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

こんにちは。
先日全ての荷物が届きました。予想以上の品質で仕上がっており、大変満足しております。
今後、より多くの製品を販売できるよう努力致しますので、今後ともよろしくお願いします。

今のところ、香港の展示会には行けないかもしれません。日程を調整し、来場できる場合はまたご連絡致します。

製品に関するお願いです。
少数ではありますが、輸送中にパッケージが潰れが何点か発生しております。
パッケージを交換すれば販売できますので、組み立て前のパッケージのみ手配することは可能でしょうか？

英語

Hello.
I have received all the goods a while ago. The quality was more than I expected and I am very much satisfied.
I will do my best to sell as many as I can. I am looking forward to working with you further.

At this moment, I am not sure I can make it for the exhibition in Hong Kong. If I could be there after adjusting my schedule, I will let you know.

One request regarding the product.
There are some in rather a small number with their package crushed during transit . They are still good enough to sold if their package is renewed. Can you send me the package that is before assembled?

レビュー ( 1 )

noeruはこの翻訳結果を"★★★★"と評価しました 2015/09/17 03:29:50

Your understanding of the original text is excellent. There are a few mistakes in grammar and usage. I think you are not a native speaker of English so this is understandable. Do you mind if I point out the mistakes from my viewpoint as a native English speaker? Maybe it will help you in the future.

I recommend:

1. I received all the goods the other day.

It is not "have received" because that is in the present perfect tense, which cannot be used with specific expressions of time like 'a while ago' or 'the other day'. The sentence should be in the past tense.

Also, 'a while ago' gives a feeling of farther back in time than 'the other day.' I think 'senjitsu 先日' is within a few days whereas 'a while ago' is farther back than a few days.

1. make it to the exhibition in Hong Kong

'for' would not be used in this case ever. Definitely, it should be 'make it to' because that indicates the direction of travel. You would only use 'make it for' if you are actually making something for somebody or for some purpose. For example, "I made an apple pie for my neighbor to thank her for letting me collect some of the apples that fell from their trees." (This is true. I did this last week.) Or, "I am making a shelf for keeping my books out of some old boards and bricks I found in my yard." (Also true. Free is great!)

1. If I can be there...

'If I could be there' is not correct because it would mean the situation is hypothetical. So a hypothetical situation would be, "If I could be there, I would." The last sentence is hypothetical because it is not planned to happen. But when you say that you will attend if you adjust your schedule, then that is no longer hypothetical, it is now a concrete plan so you must say, "If I can be there...

1. There are a few products that arrived with their packages crushed in (or during) transit. They are still good enough to be sold if their package is replaced.

'to sold' is not a correct use of the infinitive. The rest sounded a little off in small ways, so I just rewrote it. I think it is too hard to explain the small details but anyway, you can look at the new sentence.

1. Can you send me some packaging without the product inside?

Well, package as used in English usually includes everything inside as well. It seems in Japanese that it is understood to only include the material that holds the content. In English, if you are referring to only the material that holds the content, then that would be called packaging. Also, we don't say the package is assembled. Only things with parts integrated on it are assembled. For example, IKEA bookshelves are assembled. Robots are assembled. However, packages are not assembled. Contents are placed into boxes or such, not assembled. For example, if I placed a doll into a box, then the entire box with doll would be a package. I would not assemble the doll into the package. I could assemble just the box itself. I could also assemble the doll itself. But when I place the doll into the package, that is not assembly. Once the doll is in there, the entire thing is a package and the box itself becomes the packaging.

Well, I hope that helped.

[kohashi]

Hi noeru,
Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it because this is a very first one for me to have a reviews by a real English speaker. So, let me digest what you said taking more time carefully. I hope that you could review my other comments if you have chance in the future. Thanks again for reviewing my translation.

[noeru]

Oh, wow, you are so welcome. I actually really wish that I always had a double checker for my translations because it is very easy for me to misunderstand something that the Japanese requester was trying to say. I am finding translating so difficult.

[gabrielueda]

Hi! I got to this translation by chance, but I learned a lot with it. It's always nice to see from a native person's perspective.
I hope you keep doing more reviews like this, so that others translators like myself can increase their knowledge.
Thank you!

[noeru]

Thank you gabriel, it is so nice to have your thoughtful words. When I have a little time, I will try to do some more reviews. I can find little mistakes like this in almost every nonnative speaker's English so I was not picking on Kohashi, who has great English. I just randomly picked Kohashi's translation. Actually, I can usually find some mistakes like this in the writing of other English speakers as well because most native English speakers are not as well educated as I am in literature or writing. I proofread papers for other native English speakers. So I hope that the people here will know that my reviews do not mean the person is a poor writer of English. Not at all. All of the translators here who are nonnative speakers of English have very impressive English skills. That is why I give them detailed explanations. Because their English is so good, I think they can really value a detailed and technical explanation of grammar points. I am glad that people are accepting it in the way that I intended. That makes me so happy.

[gabrielueda]

Sure, detailed explanations like yours are priceless, and I'm sure every single nonnative translators here will agree! :)
English is a very complex and tricky language, so having someone like you, with such deep knowledge and will to help, is a privilege!
I hope to see more of your explanations in the future!
Thank you so much.

[noeru]

I think the same of Japanese. I really think the Japanese language is so interesting and pretty. I am sorry that I can never understand it enough to really appreciate it. When I first started learning Japanese, I did not see the beauty or richness of it. I think I had to break past the beginner stage before I could really appreciate that. Now I feel sad that I know I will never fully understand the Japanese language because that is a level that is too far for me to ever achieve. When I learn something new about Japanese, I feel so happy about it.

[gabrielueda]

I agree, Japanese is a really fascinating language that still surprises me now and then. And it can be quite complex too; the formal language is something that many natives have trouble to master! I consider myself a beginner in that field...!