翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )
評価: 50 / 1 Review / 2014/10/04 21:46:29
こんにちわ
この度は私のショップをご利用いただきありがとうございます
申し訳ありませんが配送ミスにより
同じ商品を2つ発送してしまいました
大変申し訳ありません
もちろん返送は不要ですし
処分するのが面倒でしたら商品は新品ですので
そのままお使い頂いてかまいません
これからこのようなことが無いように気を付けますので
また私のショップをご利用くだされば
大変嬉しく思います
この度はあなたとebayを通じて出会えたこと
とても嬉しく思います。
日本製品についてのお問い合わせがあれば
いつでも連絡ください
Hello,
Thank you for shopping with us this time.
We are sorry, but we have shipped the same item twice due to the shipping miss.
Please accept our sincere apologies.
Of course you needn't return it to us.
And if it troubles you, you may keep and use it without disposal.
We shall be careful lest it would not happen again,
and we would be very pleased to serve you again.
We are very glad to have met you through eBay this time.
Should you have any questions about Japanese products, please don't hesitate to contact us.
レビュー ( 1 )
元の翻訳
Hello,
Thank you for shopping with us this time.
We are sorry, but we have shipped the same item twice due to the shipping miss.
Please accept our sincere apologies.
Of course you needn't return it to us.
And if it troubles you, you may keep and use it without disposal.
We shall be careful lest it would not happen again, ↵
and we would be very pleased to serve you again.
We are very glad to have met you through eBay this time.
Should you have any questions about Japanese products, please don't hesitate to contact us.
修正後
Hello,
Thank you for using our store on this occasion.
We are truly sorry, but due to a delivery error we have shipped the same item twice.
Please accept our sincere apologies.
It goes without saying that returning the item will not be necessary.
Should it be a bother to dispose of it, there is no problem in using it since it is brand new.
We will make sure something like this does not happen again, so we would be delighted if used our store again.
We are very glad to have met you through eBay this time.
Should you have any questions about our Japanese products, please do not hesitate to contact us.
このレビューを0％の人が「適切であった」と回答しています。
Your review was full of mistakes. Please don't review if you are not capable to do it correctly unless otherwise messing it intentionally. Here is my review back for your "review". Hope this helps.
2行目：Thank you for using our store on this occasion.← 文法的には合っているのでしょうが、こういう言い方はしません。
3行目：trulyに相当する単語は原文に含まれていません。”due to the shipping miss”で大丈夫です。
5行目：It goes without saying that← このような表現は原文に含まれていません。
6行目：Should it be a bother to dispose of it,← このような表現は原文に含まれていません。
7行目：We will make sure something like this does not happen again, so we would be delighted if used our store again.← 「2度とこのようなことが起きないように」と原文で書いてあるので「something like this does not happen」程度の話ではありません。それから「if used our store again」は主語が抜けているので不適切です。
8行目：Should you have any questions about our Japanese products, please do not hesitate to contact us. ←「our」は誤訳です。原文では日本製品全般の話をしているので、店舗に限定した製品の話をしているのではありません。
Hello tearz, I can assure you that I do not intentionally try to mess with reviews. If there are any mistakes I made, I will be honest about it, so please bare with me here. What I mainly did was try to make your translation more in line with the quite formal style of the original, so please keep this in mind as well.
2行目：Thank you for using our store on this occasion.← 文法的には合っているのでしょうが、こういう言い方はしません。
=> I admit it would be best to omit a literal translation of "この度" altogether. This is something you use in Japanese formal language frequently, but rarely see in English. However, translating it as "this time" makes even less sense than "on this occasion", but at the very least I feel it comes closer to something you could actually say in English.
3行目：trulyに相当する単語は原文に含まれていません。”due to the shipping miss”で大丈夫です。
=> You won't find a separate word in the original for the sole reason that it is included in "申し訳ありません". Since this is formal language, translating it as merely "sorry" would be far too casual in my opinion.
"Shipping miss" is not proper English. Even a simple Google search for instance would confirm that it is ungrammatical.
5行目：It goes without saying that← このような表現は原文に含まれていません。
=> I had a problem with the flow of the sentence here, and decided to change it, but it is implied in "もちろん". "of course" is correct here, though. I'm sorry, but I didn't mean ill harm by suggesting an alternative. What I do find is not correct in this sentence is the use of a contraction. "Needn't" should most definitely become "need not" in this case.
6行目：Should it be a bother to dispose of it,← このような表現は原文に含まれていません。
=> "if it troubles you" is too much of a literal translation, again a simple online search would point out a phrase like his has never been used before. Another alternative might be "If it were troublesome/If it were a hassle" for example. The expression I suggested is in fact inluded in the original, though.
7行目：We will make sure something like this does not happen again, so we would be delighted if used our store again.← 「2度とこのようなことが起きないように」と原文で書いてあるので「something like this does not happen」程度の話ではありません。それから「if used our store again」は主語が抜けているので不適切です。
=> I completely agree with you that there is a problem with my correction here. May I suggest this instead: "We will be careful to make sure (something like) this does not happen again from now on."
I do want to point that a construction using "lest" is highly literary and as such does not belong in straightforward formal speech.
"if used our store again" is an honest typo, my sincere apologies. This obviously should be "if you used our store again"
8行目：Should you have any questions about our Japanese products, please do not hesitate to contact us. ←「our」は誤訳です。原文では日本製品全般の話をしているので、店舗に限定した製品の話をしているのではありません。
=> At first I thought this was open for interpration, but I made another error here, my apologies. Again, I do have to note that contractions are mostly to be avoided in formal speech.
If you still happen to have any issues with my corrections, please forward them to Conyac's management. I have already had too many of these incessant back and forth arguments over who's wrong or right. All I can say is, please don't stare yourself blind on my relatively low rating, if that was what caused your agitation, because they don't seem to be representative at all frankly speaking.