翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

もし貴方が◯を必要とする場合、手数料とアメリカまでの送料をお支払い頂ければ、私は貴方に発送する事が出来ます。14日が過ぎたら私はそれを手放しますので、ご理解下さい。

貴方のコレクションが完成する事を祈っています。
もし貴方が落札出来ない場合は私はまた協力する。
私は今後も日本でしか手に入らない◯の商品を出品していきますので、是非お付き合い下さいませ。

写真UPしてくれてありがとう。
日本ではあまり見られないお店の商品やクリスマスイルミネーションに感動したよ。私も◯に行ってみたくなった。

英語

I will be able to send "◯" to you if you need it, provided that you would pay for its handling charge and postage to America. Please understand that I will sell the item once the 14th has passed.

I am hoping for the completion of your collection.
I will once again cooperate with you if you happen to lose in the bidding.
Please continue keeping in touch with as I will be putting on display the products of "◯", which can only be acquired here in Japan.

Thank you for uploading the photo.
I was deeply moved by the products, which can be rarely found in stores in Japan, and by Christmas illuminations. I also wanted to go and see "◯."

レビュー ( 1 )

leon_0はこの翻訳結果を"★★★"と評価しました 2014/01/13 08:58:54

元の翻訳
I will be able to send "◯" to you if you need it, provided that you would pay for its handling charge and postage to America. Please understand that I will sell the item once the 14th has passed.

I am hoping for the completion of your collection.
I will once again cooperate with you if you happen to lose in the bidding.
Please continue keeping in touch with as I will be putting on display the products of "◯", which can only be acquired here in Japan.

Thank you for uploading the photo.
I was deeply moved by the products, which can be rarely found in stores in Japan, and by Christmas illuminations. I also wanted to go and see "◯."

修正後
If you need "◯", and you will pay handling and shipment charge to US, I can send to you. Please understand that I will sell the item once the 14th has passed.

I am hoping for the completion of your collection.
I will cooperate with you if you happen to lose in the bidding as usual.
Please keep in touch as I will be putting on display the products of "◯", which can only be acquired here in Japan.

Thank you for upload the photo.
I was deeply moved by the products that can be rarely found in stores in Japan, and the Christmas illuminations. I also wanted to go and see "◯."

[premiumdotz]

I have noticed some mistakes in your review.

1. Revision in the first sentence sounds very unnatural. Changing the order of the words would make it clearer.
2. Adding "as usual" next to "lose in the bidding" would mean that he always loses in biddings, which is not the point of the sentence.
3. "Upload" is a verb. In this case it should be in "...ing" form.
4. It would have been better to just add "the" instead of replacing "by."

Reviews should make translations better and clearer.

[leon_0]

1. Emphasis the condition, you should put it in front.
2. as usual means support you as usual;
3. Emphasis the result of upload action, so should not in ing form.
4. the connects to deeply move

Would be better to make more sense on English.

[premiumdotz]

1. If anything, your revision just made the first sentence sound awkward and hard to understand.
2. "... if you happen to lose in the bidding as usual" would also infer that this person always (as usual) loses the biddings.
3. "Thank you for upload the photo." This is not emphasis. "Thank you for giving me this book." is another example. I hope this makes things clearer.
4. "...by the" would make the connection clearer.

[leon_0]

1. including what you said "If anything" is a extremely weird phrase, as well as the "provided", this could mislead reader to understand it's original means.
2. "as usual" is connected to "help you", not lose bid, read whole sentence and then say it's means.
3. it's just another usage.
4. no need "by" here, cause there is "by" in front of the sentence.

[premiumdotz]

1. This translation is intended for an American customer. I'm sure they pretty much understand what "provided" means.
2. If "as usual" is connected to "help you," then you should have placed the former nearer to the latter.
3. This is just plain hilarious.
4. If you say so then.

All of the things you said in your latest comment would have been more believable if you used the noun form of the verb "mean." It's "meaning" by the way. I can point out other error, but I won't.