Aya (yay-panda) — もらったレビュー

元の翻訳
Only the bumper was included in the first package. However, the package was severely damaged.
The Brackets was not included not only in the first package, but also the second one. There is a high possibility that they were miss placed because the package was not well packed and had a big hole.
I also asked DHL to look for them, yet they are still not founded.
If there are no Brackets, the bumper is also not usable. Therefore, if the Brackets will not be founded, please recompense regarding the cost of the product and shipping fees with in the USA as well as to Japan.

修正後
A bumper was included only in the first package. However, the package was severely damaged.
Brackets was [subject-verb agreement] not included in the first package or the second one. They may have been miss placed [spelling] because the package was not well packed and had a big hole.
I also asked DHL to look for them, yet they are [tense confusion] still not founded [verb confusion].
If there are no brackets, the bumper is not usable either. Therefore, if brackets will not be founded [verb confusion], please recompense [spelling] the cost of the product and shipping fees with in the USA as well as to Japan.

元の翻訳
What we are concerning most is the part touched at the end of the first statement.
As the incident A occurred the other day, we want to prevent that our public activity would be interrupted by unexpected event and avoid that our benefit would be harmed.

If this is clear, we are going to present the idea to the client.

修正後
-What we are most concerned about is the part added to the end of the first article.
We would like to avoid incidents such as A that occurred the other day where our advertising campaign is interrupted unexpectedly, losing our profits.

-If this is clear, we are going to present this idea to the client.