Mance (semancetics) — もらったレビュー

元の翻訳
One hour south from Tokyo by car, there's a famous place called Sagami South that's good for surfing and such. Maru was raised over there. Every morning on the beach, together with the sunrise, he'd play make-believe with me like a golden-retriever. I'd show off my buff legs on the sandy beach. He was a friendly dog, and the first time people met him, they were surprised. "He doesn't seem like a shiba-inu, he has a sociable personality, huh?" The shiba-inu breed is primarily known for being loyal, never for being the kind of dog that you can hold and pet. Like with humans, if you have a hundred dogs, there will be a hundred different kinds of personalities.

修正後
One hour south from Tokyo by car, there's a famous place called Sagami South that's good for surfing and such. Maru was raised [XoverX] there. Every morning on the beach, together with the sunrise, he'd ( pretend wrestle like he was a Golden Retriever) [Xplay make-believe with me like a golden-retrieverX]. [ He shows off his beach hardened muscular legs] [X I'd show off my buff legs on the sandy beachX]. He was a friendly dog, and the first time people met him, they were surprised. "He doesn't seem like a shiba-inu, he has a sociable personality, huh?" The shiba-inu breed is primarily known for being loyal, never for being the kind of dog that you can hold and pet. Like with humans, if you have a hundred dogs, there will be a hundred different kinds of personalities.

元の翻訳
I was a cameraman attached to Maru.
At first, taking pictures was a hobby. While I continued to document Maru's everyday life with the Leica and Caonan single lens reflex cameras in my collection, the world began to realize the charms of the shiba-inu. Like the shiba-inu's smiling face, or its casual behavior. The expressions they would only show their owners, they really had a lot of appeal.
Ah, I've only been saying the good things. Did you know where Maru was digging to, every day on the beach? Brazil! To go far away to Brazil was Maru's ultimate joy! Someday, I want to go to Brazil...

修正後
I am a cameraman assigned to Maru.
At first, taking pictures was a hobby. While continuing to document Maru's everyday life with the single lens reflex Leica and Caonan [sic] cameras in my collection, I began to hope the world could learn more about charms of the shiba-inu. Like the shiba-inu's smiling face, or its casual behavior. They really have a lot of appeal, such as the expressions they only show their owners, .
Ah, let me tell you something good. Do you know where Maru digs every day on the beach? The answer is Brazil! It is so amazing that Maru has been introduced in far away Brazil! Someday, I want to go to Brazil...