翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

日本語

実はお買い上げ頂いたギター昨日の午後に売り切れておりました。
在庫管理の担当と商品登録担当との連絡ミスでした。申し訳ございません。

代わりに今、在庫のあるＢギターを同じ価格で販売させていただきます。
日本では＄Ｃで販売しているとても木目の美しいギターです。
もしこの提案を受け入れて頂けるなら申告額を＄Ｄで発送させて頂きます。

こちらのギターも素晴らしいクオリティで日本では無いとても素晴らしいギターです。
是非、良いお返事をお待ちしております。

英語

Actually, the guitar you bought had been sold out by yesterday afternoon.
This was caused by an error in communication between stock management and item registration staffs. Sorry about this.

Instead, we'd like to sell B guitar in stock at the same price.
This is a very beautiful wooden guitar sold at $C in Japan.
If you accept our suggestion, we'll send this at declaration price of $D.

This guitar also has high quality and it's an excellent guitar not found in Japan.
We look forard to your favorable reply.

レビュー ( 1 )

acdcasicはこの翻訳結果を"★★★"と評価しました 2014/10/28 20:01:55

元の翻訳
Actually, the guitar you bought had been sold out by yesterday afternoon.
This was caused by an error in communication between stock management and item registration staffs. Sorry about this.

Instead, we'd like to sell B guitar in stock at the same price.
This is a very beautiful wooden guitar sold at $C in Japan.
If you accept our suggestion, we'll send this at declaration price of $D.

This guitar also has high quality and it's an excellent guitar not found in Japan.
We look forard to your favorable reply.

修正後
Actually, the guitar you ordered had been sold out yesterday afternoon.
This was caused by a communication error between stock management and item registration staffs. We deeply apologize for the mistake.

As a compensation, we'd like to offer B guitar which is in stock for the same price.
This is a very beautiful wooden guitar sold for $C in Japan.
If you accept our offer, we'll send this at declaration price of $D.

This guitar also has high quality and it's an excellent guitar not found in Japan.
We look forard to your favorable reply.

お客様は買えていないのでorderが適切です。
Sorry about thisでも正しいですがお客様に自らのミスを謝罪するときに使う表現ではないです。
sell at は価格が時間とともに変動するときに使うので、今回は普通にforがいいと思います。
suggestionでは相手が間違っているのを指摘するようになるのでofferでしょう。その前のsellもofferのほうが適切です。