翻訳者レビュー ( 日本語 → 英語 )

備考: カナダの旅の際に合う外人の方に日本の文化を紹介するための文です。堅苦しくなくフレンドリー(初対面なので少しは丁寧に)にお願いしたいです。

日本語

日本には世界には少ない物が沢山あります。

そんな仲でも私は神社について伝えたいと思います。

写真は京都のとある神社です。

写っているのは一部ですがこの前にも沢山の提灯(Japanese lantern)があります。

この他にも沢山の種類の神社があり、キツネを神様として祀っている神社もあります。

神社は憩いの場でもあるのでとても落ち着きます。

日本に来た際にはぜひ見てみて欲しいです!

英語

There are lots of things in Japan that are hard to find in the world.
Amongst of all, I would like to introduced to you about shrines.
The image is of a shrine in Kyoto.
Although it is only a part of it, there are many Japanese lanterns situated infront of this.
Other than this, there are so many kinds of shrines and one of them enshrines a fox as a deity.
A shrine is also a place for relaxation and refreshment, so I feel very calmer there.
If you visit Japan, this is one place I would like you to see by all means!

レビュー ( 1 )

[削除済みユーザ]はこの翻訳結果を"★★★"と評価しました 2014/10/07 01:38:55

元の翻訳
There are lots of things in Japan that are hard to find in the world.
Amongst of all, I would like to introduced to you about shrines.
The image is of a shrine in Kyoto.
Although it is only a part of it, there are many Japanese lanterns situated infront of this.
Other than this, there are so many kinds of shrines and one of them enshrines a fox as a deity.
A shrine is also a place for relaxation and refreshment, so I feel very calmer there.
If you visit Japan, this is one place I would like you to see by all means!

修正後
There are a lot of things in Japan that are hard to find in the world.
Amongst these, I would like to tell you about Shinto shrines.
The image is of a shrine in Kyoto.
Although it only shows a part of it, there are many Japanese lanterns situated in front of it.
Other than this, there are so many kinds of shrines and one of them enshrines a fox as a deity.
A shrine is also a place for relaxation and refreshment, so I feel much calmer there.
If you visit Japan, this is one place I would like you to see by all means!

1st line: [lots] is not suitable for written language, but I have only corrected this as a suggestion, nothing more.

2nd line: [Amongst of all] is ungrammatical.

[introduced] "Would" is never followed by a verb in the past tense, unless it is preceded by an auxiliary verb (would have liked it/would have introduced it to you...)

[shrines] There are many kinds of shrines in the world, so I changed this one to Shinto shrines. but left the rest as they are, though.

4th line: I added a translation for [写っている], and [infront] should be two words.

5th line: [very calmer] Double comparative is always ungrammatical.

I did my best to provide you with a qualitative review that is free of errors and motivated by further grammatical, semantic, and stylistic clarification. Hence, I will give you a 3-star rating because there are a few technical faults in your translation, and not just lacking in natural use of language, this according to Conyac's rating system.

With regards,

ckrit